Quick, savory munchie menu for any stoner


Collegian | Chloe Leline

Karsyn Lane, Sports Director

Every stoner has been there once. It’s the end of a hard day, you’ve just smoked the last puff of the bowl and a heavy couch lock is setting in.

A deep tummy grumble emerges as the smoke cloud fades and red eyes settle in. Here are four go-to stoner snacks if you’re seeking the ultimate crispy munchies.


When you think of munchies, your taste buds swing across a savory scale of salty, spicy and sweet with everything mixed in between. Whether you’re looking in the pantry or fridge, dig your arms deep into the snack bag and try these honorable-mention munchies.  

Munchies Flamin’ Hot Flavored Snack Mix

In a perfect world, you find this family-size bag located right in between the Cheetos and pretzels. The deep red Munchies Flamin’ Hot Flavored Snack Mix is the perfect munchie for a stoner looking for the most. It’s a snack that’s got it all. The mix includes Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Baja Picante Sun Chips, Rold Gold Pretzels and Salsa Verde Doritos. It’s a perfect salty and spicy mix coated by the finger-licking Flamin’ Hot Cheetos dust.

Doritos, Tostitos, Cheetos, Fritos, all the -itos 

Nothing beats the original take-over chips for nostalgia and satisfaction. It’s best expressed by the original stoner mom Kitty Forman — “I’m going to get Fritos, Tostitos, Doritos, all the -itos” — in the new sitcom “That ’90s Show.” All the -itos bring a never-ending bag of finger dust, ultimate crunch and mouthwatering magic for your stoner tastebuds. While there is no such thing as a bad time or place to indulge in the crunchy chips, they do tend to taste way better after you’ve been elevated with Mary Jane.

Ice Cream 

Ben and Jerry’s must be a part of the rotation because you need to try their stoner flavor, Half Baked. Half Baked, the iconic stoner-sounding flavor — and cult favorite stoner movie — combines chocolate and vanilla ice cream with fudge brownies and bits of chocolate chip cookie dough. The bottom line, whether you are high or not, is everybody loves to end the night in a deep kush couch coma with a tub of ice cream, mindlessly in the clouds.

Nerds Candy Gummy Clusters

Now, if you aren’t the type to crave spicy or salty and are looking for something a little more sour and sweet, the Nerds Candy Gummy Clusters are a must. They deliver a puckering sweet-and-sour gummy with a crunchy, chewy outside all in one mini bite. It’s as if our childhood favorite Nerds Rope rolled itself into little balls for stoned adults to indulge in.

Regardless, today’s diverse array of snack alternatives might satisfy any appetite, but the choice is entirely yours. To better reduce the cotton mouth, I propose a great cool drink complemented by our chip selections. Lastly, the munchies are a blissful experience in one moment but a mean stomach ache the next. Don’t overeat, and if you do, smoke some more.

Reach Karsyn Lane at cannabis@collegian.com or on Twitter @karsynlane1