Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

Looking to fulfill those pesky All-University Core Curriculum credit requirements? Well, there are now more options for students who are still in need of arts and humanities credits. Colorado State University students registering for the fall 2024 semester are now able to sign up for the newest foreign language class BS 420: Swearing Across Languages.

After a trial run this semester with a few students, Swearing Across Languages will finally be available to be taken by all CSU students. This newest course offers a comprehensive look at swearing and curse words in several different languages, including Spanish, German, French, Mandarin and Russian. These languages are some of the most commonly spoken in the world, so students can use their newfound language skills almost anywhere.

“Our teaching team thought content learned in a typical foreign language class isn’t really helpful or practical in the real world,” said Puta Mierda, an assistant professor in the department of languages, literatures and cultures and the instructor for Swearing Across Languages. “I mean, when is, ‘What’s the weather today?’ ever going to come up in a casual conversation?”

“We’re looking to incorporate other languages into the course in the future. We’re really hoping to include American Sign Language because there are lots of fun gestures there.” –Puta Mierda, BS 420 instructor

In this new course, students will learn practical vocabulary sure to come up in any conversation: swear words. Studies have found that over 82% of conversations with a college student will include at least five different swear words. This course takes advantage of the natural inclination of college students to swear and teaches them how to say their favorite swear words in different languages.

“This is by far the most applicable language class you’ll ever take,” said Mist Ficker, one of the students from the trial run this semester, who will be returning as an undergraduate teaching assistant for the course in the fall semester. “The content they teach you is stuff you’ll actually need to know if you decide to visit another country.”

The course will spend approximately two weeks on each language and introduce students to a variety of curse words that are expected to come up most in daily conversation. The teaching team has cultivated a long list of vocabulary words found to come up in most conversations.

“We have found that students are actually more engaged because this is the content they actually want to learn in a foreign language course,” said Chier Bordel, a member of the teaching team.

While the course currently features five different languages, the teaching team is hoping to expand their cursing proficiency and include more languages.

“We’re looking to incorporate other languages into the course in the future,” Mierda said. “We’re really hoping to include American Sign Language because there are lots of fun gestures there.”

The teaching team of this newest foreign language class said they are looking forward to introducing this class to the CSU student body. They hope it will give a better insight into the cultural aspects of different countries while also providing students with a broader range of vocabulary they can use in practical situations.

Reach Hana Pavelko at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @hanasolo13.