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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Seriously is a satire blog and subset of the Collegian offering commentary on Colorado State University and the Fort Collins community in the style of The Onion. Real names may be used in fictitious or semi-fictitious ways.

Seriously: Coronavirus's impact on Fort Collins

Seriously: Coronavirus’s impact on Fort Collins

Ethan Vassar • February 10, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Photo via Wikimedia Commons.

Seriously: CSU pianist inspires with ‘Chopsticks’ rendition

Abby Vander • February 4, 2020

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Settling...

Seriously: No, we don't live in a society

Seriously: No, we don’t live in a society

Ethan Vassar • February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Ethan Vassar • February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: 5 ways to be a great student and classmate

Seriously: 5 ways to be a great student and classmate

Kenia Ortiz • January 30, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Ethan Vassar • January 22, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Sign outside of LSC solves inequality, bias

Seriously: Sign outside of LSC solves inequality, bias

Abby Vander • December 16, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Ethan Vassar • December 16, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

A snowman stands by the Lory Student Center on Thursday afternoon. Several inches of snow fell on Thursday afternoon, and temperatures are predicted to stay in the low 40s for Friday. (Forrest Czarnecki | Collegian)

Seriously: Avoid using the term ‘snowman’ this holiday season

Ethan Vassar • December 9, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Gun drawing (Courtesy of Pixabay)

Seriously: If you own a gun, you are a pathetic coward

Ethan Vassar • November 14, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. There...

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Ethan Vassar • November 11, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s...

UNC Professor of Psychology Doug Woody talks to students about contemporary racial discrimination in the Clark Building April 11. Woody discussed a variety of issues such as diversity, microaggressions, and historical discrimination while engaging with CSU students. (Ryan Schmidt | Collegian)

Seriously: Professors expect too much, accommodate too little

Ethan Vassar • November 4, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

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