Seriously: Sign outside of LSC solves inequality, bias

Abby Vander

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

FORT COLLINS — Amidst the continuous incidents of racial bias on Colorado State University’s campus, administrators have found a solution that’s been in front of our faces this entire time. 

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Recently, a sign has appeared outside of the Lory Student Center that reads, “No more hate and bias.” 

While the CSU administration had baseless qualms over punishing students after they posted a blackface photo on social media, many feel that this moderate tactic is more their speed.

Although members of The Collegian were busy eating unseasoned chicken and playing hide and seek in the newsroom during this time period, students have made efforts to end bias incidents. 

There were #NotProudToBe protests and an hours-long Associated Students of CSU senate session where students aired their grievances. 

“We don’t care enough about our students to defend them, but this way we can make people think we’re doing something,” said Joyce McConnell about the sign during a committee meeting.

These other arguments never actually seemed to work, likely because they focused on reason and morals rather than being a sign placed outside of a building.” -Cassidy Jones, CSU astrology major

According to third-year astrology major Cassidy Jones, nothing is as helpful as a sign left in the middle of The Plaza. Jones is a self-proclaimed expert in the area, mainly because she spends her free time reading horoscopes outside the diversity offices in an effort to bring people together. 

“These other arguments never actually seemed to work, likely because they focused on reason and morals rather than being a sign placed outside of a building,” she said.

A sign outside of the lsc that reads 'no more hate and bias'
A sign stands outside the Lory Student Cetner reminding students of what should be common sense. (Abby Vander Graaff | The Collegian)

She cited the results of moderate tactics, which are also called “spineless” by some scholars. 

Because of the sign, Charlie Kirk apologized for heightening racial tensions on CSU’s campus between mentions of the importance of free markets and how Turning Point USA “isn’t racist.” He mentioned that he was made aware of the sign after the students in the blackface photo sent him a picture of the sign on Snapchat.

“We wouldn’t have done blackface if we knew that hate and bias weren’t okay anymore,” one of the students said in a letter to The Collegian.

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When reporters tried to confirm that the students had sent a picture of the sign to Kirk, they responded by saying that it was just a joke, adding that they didn’t know why people were making such a big deal out of it.

“Bias incidents are bad,” the CSU administration stated in an email to the student body, following the remark with a frowny face emoji. “But now we have a sign.”

The email went on to note that making a sign was the best (easiest) way to (appear to) combat hate because students who commit acts of racism “aren’t bad people; they’re just ignorant.” 

“It’s the perfect way to keep donors’ money in our pock- I mean support the students,” McConnell told The Collegian.

Abby Vander Graaff can be reached at letters@collegian.com or Twitter at @abbym_vg.