Green Report: Springtime Smokeables

Dylan Simonson

A watermelon bong, apple pipe, grapefruit pipe, and strawberry chillum in a circle being engulfed by smoke
Springtime Smokeables (Photo Credit Dylan Simonson)

Picture this: You and your partner frolicking through a flower field at a park on a lovely spring day, prancing merrily with your picnic basket ready for a splendid stoned lunch! But what is this? No pipe? No bong? Whatever shall you do?! No fear! For I have the secrets to turn some of your lovely picnic fruit into fine smokeable creations!

For all the pieces that we will be creating today, all you will need is the fruit itself, and depending on the fruit a combination of a small knife, a small stick for poking such as a chopstick, and a larger tool for poking like a knife sharpening stick. You will want to dry the bowl part of the fruit before using any of these.

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First and foremost, the apple pipe, done with a carb in more of a spoon pipe style. The school-child go to for smoking. If you did not make one of these when you were smoking illegally as a teenager, then here is all you need to do.

  1. Start by taking the stem in the top of the apple out by twisting it till it pulls out from a gentle tug
  2. Take your smaller poking device, and poke straight down from that spot into the core of the apple, about 2/3 or the way down
  3. Place your mouth and pipe holding hand against the apple to feel where to create the carb hole and mouthpiece hole
  4. Take your small poking device again and poke a hole into the core of the apple in the spots you found in step 3
  5. Poke through all your holes a few more times to make sure there are no blockages
    Granny Smith Apple Pipe with cannabis
    Apple Pipe (Photo Credit Dylan Simonson)

The apple pipe is simple and effective, and a true classic. However, in Spring, grapefruits and strawberries come into season. Both these fruits can be made into pipes easily.

The strawberry will be made into a chillum. The ideal strawberry to use is an underripe one, one with a lot of white at the top and a brighter toned red.

Strawberry chillum being smoked
Strawberry chillum being smoked
  1. Cut off the top green portion of the strawberry
  2. (Optional) Cut a small portion of the tip off
  3. Carve out a small bowl from the core of the strawberry from the end that had the top
  4. Take your small poking device and push through from the bottom of the bowl you created to the tip of the strawberry
    Strawberry Chillum
    Strawberry Chillum (Photo Credit Dylan Simonson)

The grapefruit is a simple pipe, but is a little harder to make sometimes because it is harder to determine what part of the grapefruit is best to poke through, and is juicer than the other pipes. This pipe applies to most any citrus fruit.

  1. Take off the navel of the grapefruit
  2. Cut a small circle around the navel making sure to only carve off the skin
  3. Pry out the pulp core
  4. Feel the grapefruit and try to find a slice of grapefruit from feeling where parts of the skin dip in more
  5. Once a slice has found, use your small poking device through the middle of it at a level that feels appropriate for a mouthpiece
  6. Poke through the top and the new mouthpiece hole to make sure there is no blockages
    Grapefruit Pipe
    Grapefruit Pipe (Photo Credit Dylan Simonson)

The final piece is a watermelon bong, probably my favorite of the four. The watermelon bong adds the most fruit flavor to your hit, because the water used in it is just the water from the ground up pulverized watermelon.

You can carve a bowl and downstem from a carrot to use, but it is advised to just purchase the metal downstem we used to avoid possibly chopping your thumb open from the knife that will end up needing stiches you probably will end up not getting because the story embarrass you and you are pretty sure it will heal fine on its own. Not that I have any experience with that from years of making pipes from fruits and vegetables for fun.

  1. Stab down stem into watermelon at an angle (like in a bong) and make sure the end of it does not go through the skin twice
  2. Carve a hole in the top of the water melon to use as a mouthpiece, make it kind of large
  3. Use your large poking stick to smoosh and pulverize all the watermelon flesh inside, making it a slush/juice
  4. Take your large poking device and put a carb through the skin of the watermelon in a comfortable place.
    Watermelon Bong
    Watermelon Bong (Photo Credit Dylan Simonson)

With all these new pieces to choose from, your picnic is saved! Smoke up and munch on the food you did not use to get stoned!