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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Seriously is a satire blog and subset of the Collegian offering commentary on Colorado State University and the Fort Collins community in the style of The Onion. Real names may be used in fictitious or semi-fictitious ways.

Shelves of Halloween costumes on display. During Halloween there are many costume options that are not offensive. (Abby Flitton | Collegian)

Seriously: 5 extremely last-minute Halloween costumes

Ethan Vassar • October 27, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Sometimes,...

Fifty Shades of Shay. (Illustration by Rachel Macias | The Collegian)

Seriously: Best places on CSU’s campus to have sex

Shay Rego • October 22, 2019

Editor’s Note: The views expressed in the following column are those of the writer only and do not necessarily represent the views of The Collegian or its editorial board. This is a satire piece from...

Charlie Kirk speaking in the Lory Student Center on Friday, Feb. 2, 2018. (Colin Shepherd | Collegian)

Seriously: Charlie Kirk coming to CSU is a good thing

Ethan Vassar • October 20, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Graphic by Julia Rentsch.

Seriously: U+2+A Homeless Guy ordinance to be implemented

Guest Author • October 16, 2019

Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board. Letters to the Editor reflect...

CSU students walking to their next class on Friday. (Devin Cornelius | Collegian)

Seriously: CSU to enforce minimum walking speed on campus

Ethan Vassar • October 6, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

A dejected ram team after losing to Toledo 41-35 on September 21. Despite the loss the rams kept it a close game. (Ryan Schmidt | Collegian)

Seriously: CSU football, Bobo committed to mediocrity

Ethan Vassar • October 2, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

Westfall And Parmelee will be the only residence halls open over break. Students staying on campus will be charged $35 a day including $15 RamCash. Winter break housing applications and more information can be found at the CSU Housing and Dining Services website. (Matt Tackett | Collegian)

Seriously: Never hook up with someone from your dorm floor

Ethan Vassar • September 29, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

With the help of dating apps and direct messaging, finding your next significant other can either be a blessing or a curse. (Collegian file photo)

Rego: The trickle down effect of the sexual food chain

Shay Rego • September 18, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. There's...

Seriously: Study identifies top 5 porn searches in dorms

Seriously: Study identifies top 5 porn searches in dorms

Ethan Vassar • September 16, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

The Animal Sciences Building is currently under construction as it receives a new addition of the JBS Food Innovation Center. (Matt Begeman | Collegian)

Seriously: CSU to be construction free campus by 2046

Ethan Vassar • September 9, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

A student walks into he Clark A building August 30. Students frequently criticize the building for its low quality and need for renovations. (Ryan Schmidt | Collegian)

Seriously: Clark estate sues CSU for slandering family name

Abby Vander • September 8, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

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