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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

April Fools' Day

After drilling for oil and fracking began on CSU's Intramural Fields, the university feels that the oval may be an even better place to drill.

April Fools: CSU should start drilling for oil on The Oval

Major Star, Pirate Columnist • March 30, 2022
America is experiencing painfully high gas prices, which has led most Americans to start siphoning gas from local fire department trucks, and we all know how that's working out. So, you ask, what is Colorado State University doing to cash in on this gassy gold mine? Absolutely nothing. If you thought collecting tuition was a lucrative enterprise for CSU, just wait until you hear what a cash cow The Oval could be. 
After headphones were banned on campus, they now sit dormant on many students' desks March 29. (Piratish Lambino)

April Fools: Headphones and earbuds banned at CSU starting April 1

Plain Rice, Pirate Columnist • March 30, 2022
As of April 1, all forms of headphones and earbuds will be illegal on the Colorado State University campus. This official mandate is due to a unanimous vote by every individual over the age of 65 who has ever stepped foot on campus. The mandate provides a complete list of all prohibited listening devices. It includes all wired and wireless headphones and earbuds. The archaic but effective design of two metal cans attached by a string is also outlawed.
(Graphic illustration by First Mate Corndog on Tiermaker.)

April Fools: Nut tier list

First Mate Corndog, Nut Ranker • March 30, 2022

As journalists, we discuss a lot of controversial topics. From politics to war to deadly viruses, our newsroom has faced heated discussions and debates. Nothing has challenged our thinking, opened our...

(Graphic illustration by Bilebeard | The Daily Bilge)

April Fools: RAMweb crashes during ASCSU voting

Meow Hiss, Newz Reporter • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

Come to Morgan's Grind for your daily dose of grass. (by Argh von Pirate)

April Fools: Morgan’s Grind to become dispensary

Hayden Harrrrley, Cannabis Director • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

An almost perfect picture taken by my mother during a campus tour.

April Fools: Photography is easy; do it yourself

Piratish Lambino, On the way out • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

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