Rams’ Rede,

I am graduating, but my girlfriend is not. Should the relationship continue or should I end it?

Contemplating Singleness

Dear Contemplating,

Well my friend, there are a few things you need to consider. First of all, how far away will you be? Are you going to stay in Fort Collins? If so, then the answer should be obvious; graduating probably won’t change much. Unless of course you’re looking for a reason to end things, then the answer is still obvious: break up (duh).

Things get a little more complicated if you’re working with long distance. It doesn’t matter if you’re 30 minutes away or 3 hours away, long distance is hard. You have to ask yourself: Is your love strong enough to withstand the distance?

I can probably answer that for you: No. I hate to break it to you, but long-distance relationships almost never work. It’s probably best for you to just end it.

If you’re reading this and come to the realization that you don’t like this option, then I have some advice for you: If you like it, put a ring on it. That’s the only foolproof way of keeping her love on lock. That being said, I’m assuming you probably aren’t liking the sound of this option either. Commitment is hard, and isn’t always on the top of a person’s list. It actually might fall somewhere toward the bottom of the list along with talking about your feelings.

You might be cringing at just the thought of such a huge commitment. Not to fear, I have one recommendation left: take a risk and try to make it work. It may not be as clear cut as either breaking up for good or promising your love to her for the rest of eternity, but it’s all that’s left. I’m warning you, though, it’s going to be a rough ride. I’ve had friends try to do the long-distance thing before, and it was hell (not just for them, but for me).

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to be a shoulder to cry on or the voice of reason when she conjured up thousands of ridiculous scenarios in her head about where he could be and why he didn’t answer her 17 phone calls. I was there through all of the fights, and the tears, and the unrepeatable insults.

But then they would make up and I would be there for the sickening pages after pages of texts gushing over their undying love for each other. It was a roller coaster of emotions and by the end of the ride, I was ready to throw up.

They made it though. After a year of struggle, they were reunited and are happier now than ever before. But it definitely wasn’t without hard work. It was a year of blood, sweat and tears. You have to put effort in if you expect to see any results. Happiness doesn’t come without a price. So I guess it’s not impossible, but it’s a one-in-a-million chance that things will actually work out. Sometimes distance can make the heart grow fonder, but sometimes it can also tear your heart into a billion little pieces. I guess you have to be willing to take the risk.

You know in your heart what the right answer is. If you honestly love her, things will find a way of working out. They always do. But, if you envision your future and don’t see her in it, you know deep down that it’s time to move on with your life and bring this relationship to an end. You will both move on eventually. But, don’t waste any more time on making this decision. It will just make things more difficult for each of you. Just rip it off like a band-aid. It will be painful at first, but you’ll be grateful in the end.

Good luck and best wishes!

-Rams’ Rede