The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
Crypto Exchange Listing: Types of Exchanges and Compliance Requirements
March 25, 2024

The crypto industry continues to evolve, fueled by the increasing institutional adoption of crypto. Today, numerous companies are entering the...

Film? Review: “Mortdecai”

It seems I’ve stepped on to the set of a mediocre film.

Sometimes, it can be a good experience to go see a film so tremendously bad, so blatantly awful, that it actually refreshingly reminds you about how good the best films are. Seeing “Mortdecai” was one such experience.

Ad

These are those times of the year when movie theater travelers resort to watching whatever is on Netflix and trying not to think about how horrible the lineup of box office films right now is, save for “American Sniper.”

Mortdecai
Image courtesy of IMDb. “Mortdecai” was released on Jan. 23.

But first of all, the flop that we refer to as “Mortdecai” was not Johnny Depp‘s fault. He was actually one of the only good things about it. And his career is most certainly not dead, despite his awful choices recently. His career will be over when he says it’s over.

But, man, this film was terrible. Sitting through a comedy that doesn’t make you laugh is just the most awkward thing ever.

To director David Koepp, the man who writes really good screenplays most of the time, (“Jurassic Park,” “Spider-Man” and “Panic Room”) while sometimes ruining others, (“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” and “The Lost World: Jurassic Park“) you really need to stop directing. Just keep writing. Stick to what you are good at. Think of “Mortdecai” as a learning experience.

And to screenwriter Eric Aronson, I don’t really know what to tell you. New career choice? Maybe?

For those who don’t know, “Mortdecai” stars Johnny Mustache as a weirdo who somehow used to have money but doesn’t anymore, and he’s gotta find some stolen art for MI5, even though there’s a million other art enthusiasts who could do a better job than him.

Mortdecai basically sucks at everything, just like the film. One really has to respect the people who made this film, though. It isn’t easy to take a heavyweight cast like Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor, and completely ruin everything.

Now, in case you couldn’t already tell, I pretty much hate modern comedies.

Movies like “Mortdecai” and “The Interview” and “Top Five” are just silly stand-up jokes compiled into what seems to pass for a film and feature the slapstick comedy I thought we all agreed was bad 60 years ago.

Ad

Comedians, please think twice before deciding to make movies; you might end up making everybody else look bad.

By now you’ve probably got the gist. Don’t go see this movie. I don’t care if you have a really great date and “Mortdecai” has the only showtime that works. I don’t care if you’re a mild fan of Johnny Depp. Just don’t see it, okay? Thank you.

Go see “The Imitation Game” or “Birdman” or “Wild” or “Whiplash” or “Foxcatcher” or “American Sniper” or “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Those are the best films of the year, all playing right now. Go see those. Please.

Collegian Film Beat Writer Morgan Smith can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @MDSFilms.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *