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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Opinion

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Henry: Lauren Boebert is a hilariously horrifying state representative

Brendan Henry, Collegian Columnist • April 5, 2022
Rep. Lauren Boebert, a Republican state representative for Colorado, is one of the most disgustingly fascinating people in government right now. So fascinating, in fact, that it is difficult to really know where to start when talking about her. A good start is probably a short biography, as Boebert was born in Florida and eventually moved to Colorado, where she would go on to marry Jayson Boebert, who "pleaded guilty to public indecency and lewd exposure" in 2004, according to the New York Post. The two would go on to start up an open-carry-themed restaurant. She has also been involved in a few legal issues, including alleged harassment, urging underaged drinkers to flee from police at a concert, a charge of careless driving and failure to appear in court.
(Graphic illustration by Falyn Sebastian | The Collegian)

Stella: Being 18 in America does not make you an adult

Michael Stella, Collegian Columnist • April 5, 2022
March Madness returned in full force this year after an altered experience last year due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's predicted that roughly $3 billion will be wagered on the three-week event by the time it ends. This is a massive amount of money being placed on college athletics, but for the most part, 18-year-olds — supposed adults in America — will not be able to participate in in-person betting.  In America, 18 is the age when you are considered an adult, yet in 46 states in America, 18-year-olds are not legally allowed to bet on sports in person. Not only are 18-year-olds not allowed to gamble on sporting events like March Madness but they also cannot buy alcohol or cigarettes, among other things.
People walk on the red carpet at the intersection of Hollywood and Highland during the 81st Academy Awards Ceremony. (Photo courtesy of BDS2006 Via Wikimedia Commons)

Henry: The Oscars lacked representation, true appreciation for film

Brendan Henry, Collegian Columnist • April 4, 2022
Unless you have been dwelling in an underground bunker with no internet connection, you've probably heard about the whole Will Smith fiasco involving Chris Rock receiving the slap heard ‘round the world. What you likely haven’t heard much about are the actual Academy Award recipients and the work that got them their prestigious awards. Smith slapped Rock with one hand and, with the other, took away the biggest moment in some artists’ lives. Recognition on such a grand scale as the Oscars is a big deal, and people like Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson — who directed his first documentary, “Summer of Soul,” and received an award for it — were overshadowed by one act of aggression that stole the show.
Eckburg: What's the deal with ASCSU?

Eckburg: What’s the deal with ASCSU?

Bella Eckburg, Opinion Director • April 4, 2022
Associated Students of Colorado State University election voting opened April 4 and now, like most years prior, we have to wait to see how many CSU students will actually submit their votes.  Unfortunately, this year has been fraught with confusion about election dates and uncertainty about candidates. Robert Long and Elijah Sandoval are the only presidential and vice presidential candidates on the ballot, a stark contrast to the multiple pairs who ran last year. 
(Graphic illustration by Chloe Leline | The Collegian)

Gross: Drag is an important piece of culture, so let’s normalize it

Dillon Gross, Collegian Columnist • April 3, 2022
While many people are familiar with "drag" as a general term, not as many understand what drag really means and why it’s important for those who participate.  Drag is defined as "a type of entertainment where people dress up and perform, often in highly stylized ways." Typically, performers are known as "drag queens," meaning people, often men, that perform in feminine clothing, but "drag kings"— those who perform drag in masculine clothing — are also included in the scene. 
A CSU Surveillance Goose flies away from campus after being laid off due to having no students to watch amid the COVID-19 pandemic. (Smack Attackit | The Wake Up Slap)

Seriously: CSU film students strap cameras to campus geese with shocking results

Callum Burke, Collegian Columnist • April 3, 2022
In an outrageous attempt to enhance their video-taking capabilities, Colorado State University film students have pushed the boundaries yet again — only this time, it appears they have bitten off more than they can chew. Last week, film students attached a GoPro camera and GPS tile to a small collar and strapped it to a goose in hopes of attaining new point-of-view angles and potentially cool aerial perspectives of campus and Fort Collins. Unfortunately, they discovered events much more sinister than they could have ever imagined.
After drilling for oil and fracking began on CSU's Intramural Fields, the university feels that the oval may be an even better place to drill.

April Fools: CSU should start drilling for oil on The Oval

Major Star, Pirate Columnist • March 30, 2022
America is experiencing painfully high gas prices, which has led most Americans to start siphoning gas from local fire department trucks, and we all know how that's working out. So, you ask, what is Colorado State University doing to cash in on this gassy gold mine? Absolutely nothing. If you thought collecting tuition was a lucrative enterprise for CSU, just wait until you hear what a cash cow The Oval could be. 
After headphones were banned on campus, they now sit dormant on many students' desks March 29. (Piratish Lambino)

April Fools: Headphones and earbuds banned at CSU starting April 1

Plain Rice, Pirate Columnist • March 30, 2022
As of April 1, all forms of headphones and earbuds will be illegal on the Colorado State University campus. This official mandate is due to a unanimous vote by every individual over the age of 65 who has ever stepped foot on campus. The mandate provides a complete list of all prohibited listening devices. It includes all wired and wireless headphones and earbuds. The archaic but effective design of two metal cans attached by a string is also outlawed.
(Graphic illustration by First Mate Corndog on Tiermaker.)

April Fools: Nut tier list

First Mate Corndog, Nut Ranker • March 30, 2022

As journalists, we discuss a lot of controversial topics. From politics to war to deadly viruses, our newsroom has faced heated discussions and debates. Nothing has challenged our thinking, opened our...

(Graphic illustration by Bilebeard | The Daily Bilge)

April Fools: RAMweb crashes during ASCSU voting

Meow Hiss, Newz Reporter • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

A graphic of an angry man and woman with a friendship rainbow behind them.

April Fools: Men and women can never be ‘just friends’

Burnt Egg, Professional Gossip • March 30, 2022
As a college kid, you may have come across the sentiment that guys and girls can never be simply friends due to their innate attraction to one another, leaving no space for platonic love — only sex; however, I’d take it one step further and say men and women should never be friends in the first place.  As a certified girl’s girl — a glitter-loving, dramatic and taking-up-more-space-than-allocated girl — I have the wits about me to say it’s not that girls can’t be friends with men, it’s that we biologically should not be friends with them. We’re just wired differently.
Lopez: Stop questioning the legitimacy of transgender athletes

Lopez: Stop questioning the legitimacy of transgender athletes

Dominique Lopez, Collegian Columnist • March 30, 2022
From a young age, we're taught we can play sports, be a part of the arts or just simply be anything we want. If we chose to play those childhood sports, that often meant we played on small coed teams; that was the norm. It wasn’t until we reached our middle and high school years that teams began to be shaped by gender.
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