As you take your first few steps into becoming an official Ram, it feels like there’s too much to do and not enough time. Before classes even start, Ram Welcome leaders have prepared freshmen with a bucket list of things to do before they graduate. A few of these activities include hiking to the A at the top of the Foothills Trail, volunteering for RamRide and getting a photo with Cam the Ram. While these are well-intentioned, as they are meant to help freshmen get out of their comfort zone and meet people, many of the items on this list happen to be incredibly lame.
Here are seven alternatives to the Colorado State University bucket list that aren’t sad or corny.
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- Wear your For-Ever-Green T-shirt – Wear literally anything else
Instead of wearing your For-Ever-Green T-shirt, wear literally anything else. If the point of these activities is to meet new people, you aren’t doing yourself any favors by expressing a lack of style or individuality. A better bet is to wear a band or artist T-shirt so you at least have a chance at meeting others with the same music interest. Unique clothing is a great replacement for a personality, and not to mention, a great conversation starter.
- Help build a float – Commit fraud
It seems the University is trying to trick students into doing free community service for public events. This is a multi-million dollar institution; if they want the work done, they should have to compensate. Instead of volunteering or “doing things for the greater good,” start a GoFundMe for a nefarious cause. The CEO of GoFundMe has made it clear that the company strictly prohibits criminal activity, but with enough hard work and research, you may be able to get away with a few things.
- Sport your orange shirt – Don’t sport an orange shirt ever
Elle Woods famously said, “Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.”
The (wrong) Colorado State University bucket list can be found in the ASCSU handbook.
- Ride a Transfort bus – Heely to class
Riding a bus is less of a major milestone and more of a necessary method of transportation. A much more difficult feat is heelying to class. Slippery ice and lopsided terrain on campus inherently make this a parkour activity and doing so without feeling embarrassed about how ridiculous you look is also cool as hell.
- Attend an ASAP concert, comedy program or other event
It’s spelled A$AP, but that’s neither here nor there. In all honesty, this may be the one thing on the list you should follow.
- Chalk the Lory Student Center Plaza – Graffiti your bedroom wall
Why waste your time drawing something that will wash away in the rain or snow when you can make something last? Instead of picking up a bucket of chalk, get some Sharpie markers and go to town on your own property. If you’re currently renting, I would recommend buying a tapestry to cover up your art for when your landlord comes around.
- Throw a Frisbee by the lagoon – Go skinny dipping in the lagoon
Technically, taking a dip in the lagoon is against the rules, not to mention that there are chemicals you may not want to expose yourself to. However, getting arrested for public indecency while swimming in ice-cold water is still more fun than throwing a Frisbee.
- Hug a tree in the Sherwood Forest – Make a pact with friends to not procreate
Tree-hugging is a performative display of eco-friendliness, but the threat of climate change won’t be stopped by a friendly embrace. Instead, sign a firm contract that states you will not have kids out of respect for the environment.
Elena Waldman can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @WaldmanElena.
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