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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Seriously: No, we don't live in a society

Seriously: No, we don’t live in a society

Ethan Vassar February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Ethan Vassar February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: 5 ways to be a great student and classmate

Seriously: 5 ways to be a great student and classmate

Kenia Ortiz January 30, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Ethan Vassar January 22, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Sign outside of LSC solves inequality, bias

Seriously: Sign outside of LSC solves inequality, bias

Abby Vander December 16, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Ethan Vassar December 16, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

A snowman stands by the Lory Student Center on Thursday afternoon. Several inches of snow fell on Thursday afternoon, and temperatures are predicted to stay in the low 40s for Friday. (Forrest Czarnecki | Collegian)

Seriously: Avoid using the term ‘snowman’ this holiday season

Ethan Vassar December 9, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Gun drawing (Courtesy of Pixabay)

Seriously: If you own a gun, you are a pathetic coward

Ethan Vassar November 14, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. There...

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Ethan Vassar November 11, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s...

UNC Professor of Psychology Doug Woody talks to students about contemporary racial discrimination in the Clark Building April 11. Woody discussed a variety of issues such as diversity, microaggressions, and historical discrimination while engaging with CSU students. (Ryan Schmidt | Collegian)

Seriously: Professors expect too much, accommodate too little

Ethan Vassar November 4, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Shelves of Halloween costumes on display. During Halloween there are many costume options that are not offensive. (Abby Flitton | Collegian)

Seriously: 5 extremely last-minute Halloween costumes

Ethan Vassar October 27, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Sometimes,...

Fifty Shades of Shay. (Illustration by Rachel Macias | The Collegian)

Seriously: Best places on CSU’s campus to have sex

Shay Rego October 22, 2019

Editor’s Note: The views expressed in the following column are those of the writer only and do not necessarily represent the views of The Collegian or its editorial board. This is a satire piece from...

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