Seriously: A summer style guide just for you (applicable to every gender, age, location and profession)

Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick

Summer is fun, but being clueless about all the trendy seasonal styles is a major bummer. To avoid such bummers, we have compiled all the looks that you need to rock this summer. 

Photo courtesy of Pinterest.com
Photo courtesy of Pinterest.com

Shades are great!

Look for sunglasses that say, “No, Grandma, I’m not hung over, just extremely stylish!”

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Photo courtesy of pixhder.com
Photo courtesy of pixhder.com

Get a haircut!

Something short, extreme and fun! Something that you’ll immediately regret. Then, simmer in your bad decision making. Show up late to work at your crappy summer job. Hang out with your friends from high school. Realize that you peaked at 16. Wonder why you thought you could pull off that look. Buy a hat that covers your hair.

 

Photo courtesy of huffingtonpost.com
Photo courtesy of huffingtonpost.com

Take a sibling’s shirt!

This is a cheap way to freshen up your wardrobe. It also will succeed in creating some domestic strife, for those of you craving attention or some sort of action.

 

Photo courtesy of washingtontimes.com
Photo courtesy of washingtontimes.com

Wear a thin layer of sweat!

Nothing says “summer vibes” like a nice thin layer of perspiration. It says, “I work hard,” and, “It’s hot outside,” and even sometimes, “This is the first time I’ve left the house in days,” or, “I should work out more.”

 

Photo courtesy of cutcaster.com
Photo courtesy of cutcaster.com

Hold a book that makes you look like an intellectual!

You don’t have to read it. Just hold it and enjoy the ensuing feeling of superiority.

 

Photo courtesy of depositphotos.com
Photo courtesy of depositphotos.com

Balance a giant bowl of fruit on your head!

This is the ultimate summer statement. It also may be a sexual innuendo of some sort.

 

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Remember!

This is just a guide, so feel free to get creative and add your own twist. Whatever you do, be yourself, because you are you, so be the youiest you you can be. 

 

Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at blogs@collegian.com or on Twitter at @TatianaSophiaPT.