How to spend homecoming weekend if you hate football

Casey Setash

CSU jersey with leaves
Autumn brings with it a surge of school spirit through homecoming events. (Field Peterson | Collegian)

As the stalwart Rams are fighting on next Saturday, some students may prefer to celebrate Homecoming in less traditional ways.

If the parade or the lighting of the “A” are not your jam, you can still cheer on your team and showcase your school spirit with zero foam fingers involved.

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Before you protest the fall semester’s rallying event, consider some of the other options that are equally as fun as screaming yourself into hoarse oblivion at the Homecoming game.

Leave.

No parking on campus, raucous frat parties and parents looming behind every corner? Sounds like either the quintessential college experience or the nightmarish start to a Halloween movie. Homecoming weekend offers the perfect opportunity to get out of dodge and take a weekend backpacking trip, enjoy the Fall colors or visit Grandpa Jerry’s Clown Museum (yes, it’s a real place, and it’s the most terrifying follow-up experience to seeing the movie “It” anyone could ever imagine). Let’s be honest, no one really wants to spend their weekend driving through Homecoming traffic.

Eat a fancy dinner out.

You’ll probably spend less than you would on the new stadium’s Cam’tina nachos anyway, and there are bound to be some Homecoming deals circulating around Choice City. Try out some of the ubiquitous Valpak deals or scope out the Groupon scene to make this option even more affordable and fun. Heck, the Homecoming game will probably be on TV wherever you end up, so wear something CSU-related, for Cam’s sake.

Work out.

Imbibe a few too many at that Homecoming party last night? Fear not. The rec center is making it easier than ever to flush those toxins and get rid of that beer belly with visitors in tow. They are offering four-day visitors’ passes for $10 and will be open on gameday from from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. It’s the perfect opportunity to do some Zumba with your dad or partner yoga with your mom.

Go to a friend’s homecoming party just to eat free food.

Once you’ve worked off all of those beer calories, you might as well take advantage of the numerous parties keeping you from doing any real work and eat your way across your neighborhood. Intoxicated college students and outdoor tailgating mean only one thing: it’s the best possible time to use people for free food.

Buy a tiara/crown and pretend you’re homecoming queen/king.

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You can really go the extra mile and throw your own homecoming parade. Who hasn’t wanted an opportunity to practice their “Princess Diaries” wave in real life? Take advantage of your roommates being out of the house, get that crown on, and try the “Miss Congeniality” drinking game for a spin to really underscore the overdone pageantry of the weekend.

Have an existential crisis about how much you’re paying to go here.

If you live anywhere near CSU’s new stadium, you will be able to hear your tuition dollars hard at work Saturday night. For those who don’t partake in America’s most concussive pastime, Saturday’s game can be a soul-crushing opportunity to reflect on how much debt your time spent at CSU is incurring and the skyrocketing tuition prices across the country. But at least you got a new stadium.

Collegian reporter Casey Setash can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter at @caseylovesbirds