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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Seriously is a satire blog and subset of the Collegian offering commentary on Colorado State University and the Fort Collins community in the style of The Onion. Real names may be used in fictitious or semi-fictitious ways.

Seriously: Small Instagram following means no sorority bids

Seriously: Small Instagram following means no sorority bids

Ethan Vassar • September 24, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

The new stump in the plaza is pictured on Friday afternoon. The stump in the plaza is a mainstay in the plaza and it serves as a place for people to hang out and speak their mind.

Seriously: The Stump requests pay raise

Ethan Vassar • September 20, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Photo Illustration by Ashley Potts

Seriously: Colin Kaepernick to star in Captain America reboot

Arisson Stanfield • September 12, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Marvel...

Colorado State University CSU campus clark

Seriously: Traces of the Black Death found in Clark

Ethan Vassar • September 10, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Fort...

Student bikers ride on the Green Trail extension after its grand opening on Aug. 21. (Clara Scholtz | Collegian)

Seriously: Freshman found still looking for his first class

Ethan Vassar • September 9, 2018

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not like reading editor’s notes are subject to...

The CSU marching band preforms at halftime during the inaugural football game at the new on-campus stadium on August 26, 2017. (Jack Starkebaum | Collegian)

Seriously: Plans for a second football stadium leaked

Jayla Hodge • August 27, 2018
Even with the new state of the art facilities, some are worried it still won’t be enough to boost the team’s performance. Some in the football department are calling for construction of a second stadium to begin immediately.
Kevin Sullivan, Tristan Syron and their campaign team celebrate their winning of the ASCSU presidential election by chugging milk on April 4. (Colin Shepherd | Collegian)

Seriously: Syron-Sullivan campaign member hospitalized

Ethan Vassar • April 6, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from the Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Fort...

Seriously LTTE: Wow, I love the student newspaper

Seriously LTTE: Wow, I love the student newspaper

Guest Author • April 1, 2018

Dear Editor, In response to The Collegian's work this year, I just wanted to say that you all are doing a great job.  Contrary to pretty much every other reader you have, I find myself so energized...

Seriously: Generation after Millennials to finally be named

Seriously: Generation after Millennials to finally be named

Julia Trowbridge • April 1, 2018
The Pew Research Center has recently announced the new cut-off for the Millennial generation, changing it from 1997 to 1996. The next task, for the Pew Research Center and anyone who feels like they should voice their opinions about what generations should be called, is naming the next generation.
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