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The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Students walk their bikes in the dismount zone Monday afternoon. Many students and staff at CSU commute to campus using alternate transportation. Fort Collins is a bike-friendly community and CSU is continuing efforts to increase bike-friendly areas and focuses on biking safety. (Photo Credit: Megan Fischer)

Seriously: CSU enforces dismount zones on wheelchair-bound students

Ethan Vassar • November 6, 2018

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

CSU students walking to their next class on Friday. (Devin Cornelius | Collegian)

Seriously: CSU in search of their first supreme witch

Kenia Ortiz • October 29, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Colorado Governor candidate Jared Polis greets people in line while they are waiting to enter a Colorado Democrats rally in the Lory Student Center on Wednesday Oct. 24, 2018. The rally consists of guest appearances by Jared Polis, Michael Bennet, Joe Neguse, and Bernie Sanders. (Colin Shepherd | Collegian)

Seriously: Stapleton for more M&Ms, Polis for raisins in trail mix

Ethan Vassar • October 28, 2018

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Senior Wide Receiver Michael Gallup (4) hauls in a pass during the first half of the Rams' 16-13 loss at Wyoming. (Javon Harris | Collegian)

Seriously: Tony Frank on Border War: “very fine people on both sides”

Rory Plunkett • October 24, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. In...

The Fort Collins Museum of Art was originally Fort Collins first post office, and before that a cemetery. It's no surprise employees of the museum and Blue Agave Grill have had experiences with one particular spirit, nicknamed George. (Sarah Ehrlich | Collegian)

Seriously: Ghosts of CSU demand recognition

Kenia Ortiz • October 23, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Colorado...

The Old Town smoke-free ordinance extends from Olive Street to Maple Street in downtown, but it still may be hard to enforce. (Photo Credit: Christina Vessa).

Seriously: JUUL stations to be set up around campus

Wyatt Hansen • October 22, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Students...

Look for these green signs and a bench near your route to signal you to a Transfort bus. Photo credit: Joslyn Allen

Seriously: TransFort implements new sanitary measures

Ethan Vassar • October 14, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

The Collegian Editorial Board meeting with Colorado State Univeristy President Tony Frank. ( Tony Villalobos May | Collegian)

Seriously: Tony Frank mistakes homecoming decor for celebration of his presidency

Ethan Vassar • October 11, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. If...

(Photo Illustration by Colin Shepherd | Collegian)

Seriously: Tony Frank resigns to pursue Fortnite career

Ethan Vassar • October 7, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Kappa Kappa Gamma Members pose for a photo during the new member introduction party. (Elliott Jerge | Collegian)

Seriously: Top 3 unconventional places to have a big/little date

Ethan Vassar • September 27, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. With...

Front of Colorado State University Engineering building Physics wing

Seriously: Service dog in training discovers secret to physics lab success

Katie Lindberg • September 26, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Fort...

Seriously: Small Instagram following means no sorority bids

Seriously: Small Instagram following means no sorority bids

Ethan Vassar • September 24, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

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