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Seriously: Service dog in training discovers secret to physics lab success

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

Fort Collins- Students in a physics laboratory at Colorado State University yesterday witnessed a stunning twist on the age-old “my dog ate my homework” tale.

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While struggling with their experiment on measuring electric potential, Abby Griffith and her two lab partners were stunned when Daisy, her six-month-old golden retriever training to be a service dog, heroically jumped to the rescue.

“She was a total pro,” said Cody Richards, one of Griffith’s lab partners. “She had all the steps down, knew where to plug everything in… She even guided us on the write-up. It was like she knew exactly what to do somehow. We were totally speechless.”

The service dog’s handler couldn’t say for sure what had led to her miraculous actions, but she did have a suspicion that a mishap at home that morning might be connected.

“Daisy got into my backpack this morning and got a hold of my physics lab manual,” Griffith said. “It was pretty badly chewed up and the pages for today’s experiment were completely gone.”

“I guess something about consuming the lab manual really did the trick,” Griffith said. “I never would have guessed.”

Griffith said the mishap was a good opportunity to further Daisy’s training, but she feared that she and her lab partners would be completely lost without the manual.

“It’s an invaluable resource. I can’t even tell you how often we prop up pieces of equipment with it, or use it to write on when there’s no space on the desk,” Griffith explained.

“Plus the bright yellow cover is great for flagging down the TA when we get stuck,” Richards added.

“I guess something about consuming the lab manual really did the trick,” Griffith said with a bewildered shrug. “I never would have guessed.”

The TA for the lab section was not available for comment as she was too busy figuring out how to enter the service dog’s grade into Canvas.

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Katie Lindberg can be reached at letters@collegian.com or online at @quantumCatnip.

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