Colorado State University’s Office of Financial Aid has finally made itself useful when it comes to aiding a student with their tuition woes.  Last weekend, fourth-year biology student March McGee...

The COVID-19 peppercorn has caused us all to give up our old ways of existing and make some changes in our everyday lives, both for the better and for the worse.  Luckily, COVID-19 vaccine numbers...

To commemorate the start of the global pacifier, world leaders have officially announced that New Year’s Day will now be celebrated March 1. “In order to celebrate the renewal of the world and...

There are so few things that have upended the modern life as much as the COVID-19 personal pizza has. As the panini has raged on timelessly, all of us have collectively ignored the centuries of technological...

The Associated Students of Colorado State University elections, which will now be held biweekly because there just aren’t enough, will be seeing a drastic shift this year. 15 of the 25 candidates...

Late last night, Richard “Throat Goat” Cox, member of Grammar Apple Uff-da, was pronounced dead by paramedics in the bathroom of his fraternity house. The cause of death was determined to be asphyxiation...

There is no holiday on the American calendar more demonstrative of our national values than April Fools' Day. You could make a compelling argument that Christmas and its exaltation of blind consumerism...

Dear readers,  The wool has been pulled over society’s eyes for too long, and we’ve had enough of it. The truth is out there, and you deserve to know what it is. That’s why we changed our name...

Over 100 house venues in Fort Collins have shut down in the past month due to an oversaturation of the market. The local music scene scratches its head as house venue owners and musicians alike are confused...

Selling feet pictures online has never been so popular. Ever since Colorado State University closed its doors and the main source of revenue for hundreds of college students has dried up, students are...

Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board. Celebrities are the real...

Editor's Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s news section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...