The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
Five Things We Learned Delivering Over Half a Million Orders for NoCo Restaurants
Five Things We Learned Delivering Over Half a Million Orders for NoCo Restaurants
November 8, 2023

  In May 2019, Nosh began as a humble restaurant co-op with just three people. When the pandemic hit in March 2020, while many businesses...

Fraternity member dead after unfortunate toothbrush tragedy

a toothbrush sits in a plastic cup
The dangerous implement that led to the death of a fraternity member sits dormant in a bathroom. (Kooky Boredman | The Unprecedented Times)

Late last night, Richard “Throat Goat” Cox, member of Grammar Apple Uff-da, was pronounced dead by paramedics in the bathroom of his fraternity house. The cause of death was determined to be asphyxiation after Cox choked on a toothbrush in a gag reflex competition.

Fellow competitors said the competition started out friendly until Cox began boasting about the length of his throat. 


“We called him the ‘Throat Goat’ because he was the best at chugging beer,” said Nick “Hefty” Johnson, Cox’s fraternity brother. “He may have been 6-foot-4(-inches), but his throat was 6-foot-6(-inches).”

Johnson said the person who gagged the least would get an exclusive opportunity to star in an upcoming documentary directed by Fraternity Chi, a popular movie documenting the lives of young men in fraternities. Johnson said the studio’s upcoming movie was looking for fraternity brothers to talk about the ways they have dismantled toxic masculinity within their organizations.

“As brothers, we felt comfortable enough in our masculinity to push our gag reflexes to their limits,” Johnson said. “This was just one example of how close we are as brothers.” 

Dr. Austin While, a physician at the Colorado State University Health Network, said this was a poor attempt at dismantling toxic masculinity.

“Everyone should be gagging on their toothbrush if they are using it incorrectly,” While said. “All people gag on hard plastic tools that aren’t supposed to be shoved down one’s throat.”

According to While, our gag reflexes are meant to keep us from choking on foreign objects that can potentially hurt us and prevent us from swallowing objects that our bodies can’t digest. Without it, While said, we could end up dead.

In terms of dismantling toxic masculinity, Diego Sands, a member of the Pride Resource Center, said it takes more work than shoving a toothbrush down your throat to unlearn toxic habits. 

Sands said it’s common for cisgender, heterosexual men to measure their masculinity against what they perceive as “gay.” This is why many cis-het men believe having a gag reflex further confirms their heterosexual identity. 

“In conversations about sexuality, cis-het men have told me that they accept their gay peers,” Sands said. “However, they could never be gay, citing something arbitrary like having a gag reflex.”


According to Sands, a self-proclaimed queer person with a gag reflex, they wish cis-het men would stop equating nonsexual acts with queerness or masculinity.

“Doing so only promotes the idea that queer people are inherently sexually deviant and limits sex to the constraints of penis-vagina sex,” Sands said.

Sands said thinking through the ways toxic masculinity affects women and queer people is a much more useful way of dismantling toxic masculinity. 

Johnson said it will take time for him and his fraternity brothers to deal with Cox’s death. In honor of Cox’s memory, Johnson said the organization will be hosting a beer-chugging competition within the fraternity, after which the winner will carry on the name “Throat Goat.”

“I’m so grateful to have been able to witness the things that ‘Throat Goat’ could do with his throat,” Johnson said. “His name will not die in vain.”

Editor’s NoteThis is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

The Unprecedented Times reporter Wh*re-hey Espinoza can be reached at or on Twitter @jorgespinoza14

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Hey, thanks for visiting!
We’d like to ask you to please disable your ad blocker when looking at our site — advertising revenue directly supports our student journalists and allows us to bring you more content like this.

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *