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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

April Fools' Day

Some special ingredients in a bowl

April Fools: Simply Cooking: Sweet or savory pudding

Sus Sierra, Chef Pirate • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

A graphic of an angry man and woman with a friendship rainbow behind them.

April Fools: Men and women can never be ‘just friends’

Burnt Egg, Professional Gossip • March 30, 2022
As a college kid, you may have come across the sentiment that guys and girls can never be simply friends due to their innate attraction to one another, leaving no space for platonic love — only sex; however, I’d take it one step further and say men and women should never be friends in the first place.  As a certified girl’s girl — a glitter-loving, dramatic and taking-up-more-space-than-allocated girl — I have the wits about me to say it’s not that girls can’t be friends with men, it’s that we biologically should not be friends with them. We’re just wired differently.
The crime scene of a missing joint March 29. (Photo illustration by Look! A Seal | The Daily Bilge)

April Fools: Have you seen this joint?

Graybeard Acri, Cannabis crime reporter • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

April Fools: Niko Medved extends time at CSU to join Moby Outlaws

Carson Lame, Sprots Editro • March 30, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

Jayce Haley's guitar hangs in the basement of his house on Nov. 17th. The Crooked Rugs played a show in the basement the night before when band member Finn Stowers got a bloody nose while playing Haley's guitar, resulting in the blood stains seen above. (Megan McGregor | The Collegian)

If they want equality, women need to leave the music industry

Maddy Erskine • April 1, 2021

The increase of women in the music industry is a problem that needs to be addressed. Now that women are on the cover of magazines, running venues, headlining shows and even writing the articles we...

Some super sick LAX bros totally shred the field while facing off with some sick new sticks that use kyber crystals to make them totally radical. (Smack Attackit | The Unprecedented Times)

Lacrosse teams trade sticks for lightsabers

Taylor Paumen • April 1, 2021

The Colorado State club lacrosse teams have seen a massive increase in walk-on players this season. You might be wondering why, especially after the COVID-19 polyamorous halted all in-person activity....

The incredibly ripped and uncontrollably attractive Mayor CAM stands at the entrance to Uncanny Valley, Colorado. (Smack Attackit | The Unprecedented Times)

CAM the Ram advocates for geese as mayor of Uncanny Valley

Abby Vander • April 1, 2021

Students on Colorado State University’s campus are noticing that their beloved CAM the Ram has been looking a bit different lately.  While in past semesters CAM appeared in Ram form, this semester...

The Newly added Marlboro Mezzanine in Canvas Stadium March 29. In an effort to promote healthier alternatives to vaping, The Athletics department has decided to drop the New Belgium partnership in favor of a partnership with Marlboro Cigarettes. In a statement, Marlboro President of Operations, Bronc Chitis said "We are looking forward to our partnership with CSU and hope this partnership will not fail for a lung lung time" (Grandiose Frames | The Unprecedented Times)

CSU drops New Belgium, picks up Marlboro

Tyler Meguire • March 31, 2021

Colorado State University's athletic department has announced plans to break its partnership with the New Belgium Brewing Company and add Marlboro Cigarettes as a new official partner, sources tell...

(Graphic Illustration by Jake Dunaetz | The Collegian)

LFTE: Why we’re ditching The Collegian for a new name

The Collegian • March 31, 2021

Dear Readers,  As the editors of a publication surviving during the COVID-19 pantomime, we, like just about everyone else on this cold (but increasingly warmer), lonely (but increasingly overcrowded)...

(Illustration by Amy Noble, Rachel Macias, Katrina Clasen | The Collegian)

Horoscopes 4/1/21

Jorge Espinoza • March 31, 2021

April Fools' Day horoscopes are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. While the stars never lie, today's the only day you're allowed to be in denial about what the stars have in store for you. Horoscopes...

Colorado State running back Joyce McConnell exits the gauntlet machine at Spring Football camp. In an effort to mend the relationship between Athletics and University Administration, Head Football coach Steve Addazio has offered a half-ride scholarship to CSU President Joyce McConnell to fill the team's need for a running back. (Grandiose Frames | The Unprecedented Times)

Addazio recruits McConnell prior to fall season

Scott Nies • March 31, 2021

Steve Addazio has had a rough start to his tenure as the Colorado State football team's head coach. Whether it was the scathing claims made by The Coloradoan, the subsequent departmentwide investigation...

(Graphic illustration by Abby Flitton | The Unprecedented Times)

CSU to host Drool 4 Skool competition for scholarship money

Laura Studley • March 31, 2021

Your drool can now pay for your college tuition.  On March 31, Colorado State University President Joyce McConnell announced that students will be able to win $10,000 in scholarships if they participate...

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