Another season of The Bachelor has come and gone, and in the words of Chris Harrison that were repeated countless times, it was one of the most controversial seasons yet.

It’s been nearly two days since the dramatic finale, and at this point, I think what’s to be said about Juan Pablo, his pick, and his proposal (or lack thereof) has already been said. However, a summary of my thoughts are as follows:

I was disappointed when Clare let Juan Pablo suck her back in after their date, which gave him the opportunity to end things on his terms, but I gained a lot of respect for Clare as she parted when she demanded respect for herself.  She really stuck it to the man.

Next, my affection for Nikki never amounted to anything. To me, Nikki seems to lack a bit of self, but I was still hoping hear more than, “I like you . . . A lot,” for her sake, which leads me to whatever you would like to call the final moments of the show.

That was probably the most unromantic ending of The Bachelor that I’ve ever seen. I felt no emotion, you could see the disappointment on Nikki’s face, and Juan Pablo’s stupid wink was the straw that broke the camel’s back. To add to that, his behavior at “After the Final Rose” was unbelievably off-putting. I respect his decision not to propose, or even not to mutter those three little words everyone was looking for, but he was disrespectful and cowardly.

Unfortunately, I believe Juan Pablo is arrogant, ungracious, and manipulative. At some point in our lives, we’ve probably dealt with someone like this, or are bound to if we haven’t already. Thankfully, there are a few real-life lessons we can take from this television spectacle.

1. Trust your gut.

This season has been a great example of a really useful thing called intuition. Sharleen acted on the questions that clouded her mind about her relationship with Juan and has said that she doesn’t regret her decision to leave. Andi woke up from the fantasy suite not feeling it anymore, and now she’s The Bachelorette! In Clare’s situation, Juan Pablo’s inappropriate comment raised some red flags, but she chose the sweet talk over her first inclination. I’m not saying that you should let fear consume you, or even that your intuition will only tell you when something is wrong, because it can lead you to wonderful things as well, I’m just saying that your soul is wiser than you think. It will most likely have the right answer every time you tap into it.

2. Respect yourself.

Whether you are plagued by a disrespectful comment or being manipulated by your partner, make a point to respect yourself. No one deserves to be degraded, and according to Clare, she was. At least she took initiative to bring it up, but Juan Pablo seemed to weasle his way out of the fault once again. This is what shady people do. They redirect their wrongdoing onto the accuser and in turn make the accuser feel guilty and back down. When we’re in this situation, it’s sometimes hard to comprehend this trickery, but as we look back we can see things more clearly. We’ve now all witnessed it on The Bachelor, so be weary in your reality!

3. Don’t settle.

Nikki had sparkling eyes walking up to Juan Pablo, only to be dulled by his “I like you . . . A lot” ordeal. On “After the Final Rose,” the couple claimed to be very happy. If that’s true, all the power and happiness to them. However, that’s not exactly how I picture my fairytale romance working out. Everyone should have that person who is madly in love with them. A person who craves their company, who is completely vulnerable and honest with them, who makes them laugh until they cry, who goes out of their way to show their affection, who finds their idiosyncracies absolutely obnoxious but cute at the same time, who notices every freckle on their face, and ultimately, who is a piece of themselves. Nikki and Juan Pablo may have that behind closed doors (I  mean, we’ll never really know because they are so over being in the public eye, right?), but I think it’s something that everyone should strive for.

It’s safe to say that we’re all glad this season is over. Here’s to hoping for less confrontation and a lot more love on Andi’s season this summer!