Relationships: Getting serious

Jillian Kolman


We’ve all seen them, those Facebook posts telling you that so-and-so and what’s-his-face are engaged. You keep scrolling and think to yourself, “Hah, sure” or you sit with your mouth wide open as a little voice in your head just yells, “WE’RE THE SAME AGE”. Either way, the truth is that some people are more ready for that step than others.


I was babysitting a few girls a while back when one of them asked me if I was married. When I firmly responded that no, I am not married, they asked me why. Besides my obvious “single and ready to mingle” status, I really didn’t know what to say.

It felt like we got here overnight, the point where it’s suddenly reasonable for our generation to start settling down. But it’s important to keep in mind that right now, a serious relationship doesn’t need to be priority number one.

Even though it’s hard for some of us to admit, we will all have a whole life full of adulting after college where we’ll meet plenty of new people and develop plenty of new relationships. So keep in mind that if you leave college without a significant other, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll die alone – unless you want to, that’s a you thing. So, if you meet your better half here in the “real world”, awesome! If not, there’s still plenty of people out there in the actual real world that you’ve yet to meet.

Another thing the keep in mind is that most members of our lovely generation who are already making plans to tie the knot have been together for quite some time. It’s usually not as sudden as it might seem. A friend of mine in her second year here at CSU just got engaged to her boyfriend of over five years. In my opinion, it’s pretty reasonable to get serious after five years together. But for every one person who is ready to commit to someone forever, there are probably five that are nowhere near ready for that.

Just because you’ve been in a relationship for a year or so, you do not need to start shopping for rings. If you feel like you’re ready for that, go for it! But you should by no means feel pressured to get serious in your current relationship simply because others are. It’s very reasonable to not be ready for that step yet.

If you are ready for that step and you’re worried about the opinions of friends, family or both, don’t. No one can truly understand a relationship unless they’re one of the two people in it. If it feels right to both of you, go for it! Take the leap and commit to each other. Even if it turns out to be a mistake, that’s what life is all about.

So, no matter how you view serious relationships, if you hate the idea of being in one, if you wish you were, or if you are in one, it doesn’t really matter! It’ll probably all work out regardless of where you’re at now.

Collegian blogger Jill Kolman can be reached online at or on Twitter at @JillKolman. Read more of her content on Relationships. Leave a comment!