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Seriously: Amazing! Plaza preacher lets students pass without yelling at them

Local preacher politely offered to speak to those willing to listen (via Wikimedia)
Local preacher politely offered to speak to those willing to listen (via Wikimedia)

In a move that shocked students and faculty alike, local preacher Kristoffer Kristensen stood in the plaza all day without yelling at anyone.

According to sources, Kristensen stood quietly in the plaza all day without singling out students on their choice of attire or loudly criticizing the sexual lifestyles of passing strangers.

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“I don’t believe in forcing my faith on anyone – I’m just here to discuss spirituality with anyone who’s interested in it too,” Kristensen said before complimenting a passing woman on the individuality of her facial piercings. “I have my own ideas of how people should act, of course, but I’d rather live and let live than fight about it, you know? It’s not like my opinion is more valuable than anyone else’s.”

Kristensen’s unorthodox methods have received criticism from Jovially United Deacons and Saints (JUDAS), a national priests’ association, who claim that volume and aggression are the true measures of a person’s commitment to spreading the word of God. However, some, including Kristensen’s host organization, the National Association of Holiness (NAH), have come out in support of him.

Student reaction to Kristensen was mixed. At press time, half of the students surveyed mistook the preacher for a Mormon.

Collegian Assistant Opinion Editor and Blogger Sean Kennedy can be reached at blogs@collegian.com or on Twitter at @seanskenn. He also hosts a weekly radio show, SUBMERGE, on Sundays from 7-9 p.m. on KCSU Fort Collins. Leave a comment!!

Disclaimer: Seriously is a satire blog, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All articles from Seriously are creations of fiction, and presumably fake publications. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are fictitious events based on real people. Seriously is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.

 

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