The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
The Impact of Technological Innovations on Sports Betting in Colorado: A Primer
The Impact of Technological Innovations on Sports Betting in Colorado: A Primer
April 18, 2024

In the sports betting domain, Colorado stands as a unique arena where technological advancements have significantly reshaped the landscape. As...

Sassy with Cassie: tired and scared

I’m tired.

Like, I am so tired.

Ad

Really, really tired, you all.

No one should ever be this tired, but I think everyone is this tired. Do you know how many times I’ve almost hit another car this week? Bunches. That’s how many. I can’t give you an exact number, because I am too tired, and quite frankly, I don’t really care. Sorry ‘bout it, peasants.

I have the nightly news on right now, which is the worst. “Let me tell you everything that went wrong, or is weird or should make you scared to leave your house.”

I do not like being scared when it is this late at night. Like, I am really tired and not totally with it. So tell me a scary story, and I’ll probably stay awake making sure no one sneaks into my house, hides in my closet and waits until I fall asleep to stab me.

I just checked my closet. Coast is clear.

I also just checked to see if the door was locked. Also clear.

Maybe if we had a dog instead of a cat. My dog, although a foot tall, would protect me. My roommate’s cat, on the other hand, threw up three times because she was throwing a tantrum.

I fed her. She meowed the ugliest of all meows, and I ignored it. She threw up a waterfall of the new baby food that she is fed, and I did not hear it. So, she came into my room and threw up on my carpet. I yelled at her, and chased her into the kitchen where she forced the rest of her tantrum onto the kitchen floor. If you still think that’s OK, imagine having a friend who got mad at you and started throwing up in protest.

Think that’s not the same? Well, you’re right. A human angrily throwing up is a thing out of “The Exorcist.” They would grin at me after they threw up.

Ad

I can guarantee I would be chasing that person nowhere.

Now I am picturing the gray-faced, exorcist-type glaring at me from the corner of my room and spinning her head wildly in circles while giggling.

Either I’m not going to fall asleep, or I’m going to have nightmares.

I’ve been having stress nightmares frequently.

I dreamt I was writing a story on a children’s dance class. While gathering interviews, I noticed that the obese, lady dance teacher gassed the students she found intolerable. She sent them to a back room and their jump ropes gassed them.

My recurring dreams result in the most stress. Someone I love dies, and I spend the rest of the dream mourning. I always wake up crying. I had not had one for a year until a couple of weeks ago.

Golly, that column went from ‘LOL’ to legitimate concern real quick.

I also do not think I solved the whole being tired problem. My hope for everyone during these final weeks is that you all have the peaceful sleep you need. You all deserve a night free from the scary nightly news, vomiting cats and traumatic nightmares.

God bless and good night.

Collegian A&E Columnist Cassie Maack can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @maackcl.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *