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The Rocky Mountain Collegian

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Broncos Still in the Game

drinking and walking
drinking and walking (Photo credit: bradleygee)

Based on the RamTalk – “To the guy in my psych class that came in wearing a bronco poncho, we should make babies.” – Originally in 12/7/2012 Collegian

The Gender Studies department at Colorado State University has made a tremendous discovery in finding what attracts mates on college campuses.

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Although some men are led to believe that their “personalities” or “looks” may attract women, they could not be further from the truth.  Researchers and woman enthusiasts everywhere have tried to attract the female humans with scents such as “hummingbird sneeze” and “lumberjack luv.”  When these failed, they moved onto trying visual cues to get their female cohorts to venture closer to their loins. The findings have shaken the Earth to its core.

Female enthusiast and pornography expert Logann Swanson was the man behind the findings.

“Yeah, so I just wandered into psych one day wearing my Denver Broncos poncho and I started noticing something weird,” Swanson said.  “Chicks were all, like, getting at me and stuff and I was all, like, woah this is cool. It was cool.”

The Denver Broncos poncho has been identified as the key agent in attracting women in the case of Swanson. It seems as though during the regular football season, all of the females on the CSU campus contracted what is known as Orangecrushpeytonmanningitis and have become unconditionally attracted to the Denver Broncos.

Although the findings have yet to be formally tested, Broncos fans everywhere are rejoicing, stating that it was meant to be and that females have always been attracted to greatness. The moral of the story is that if you want to succeed in finding a mate in life, and become successful in general, become a Broncos fan.

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