April Fools: CSU student breaks cannabis world record

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Collegian | Sophia Sirokman

Tacky Pocky, Cannabis collector

Most students at Colorado State University are known for their stalwart actions through research and creating change. However, fifth-year Ram Stewie Gordon lived up to the standards and achievements of CSU from a more botanical type of angle.

On March 27 Gordon became the world record holder for the longest smokable joint ever rolled.

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When Gordon woke up that Monday morning like the rest of Fort Collins, he was surprised to see snow on the ground. But while some dreaded the never-ending cold, Gordon saw this as an opportunity to bring more success into an already elevating industry. 

“For some reason, when I got the text that campus was closed, I knew that day was going to be the day I had been practicing for,” Gordon said. “I think the cannabis gods were signaling to me that it was my time to shine.”

The common lengths of joints vary from 1-3 inches if you’re buying a pre-roll or getting a pack of papers. However, Gordon bought 25 packs of 24 Zig-Zag King Size Rolling Papers, which measured to be the winning length of exactly 100 feet.

“It’s truly inspiring to go to school with such role models.” -Mary Jane, CSU student and bystander

Gordon’s motivation allowed him to beat the original record of 98.4 feet, which took 40 people to assemble in 2017.

While the record wasn’t set on campus like many athletes or researchers have done, mostly due to the prohibition of student usage on government grounds, Gordon casually rolled his way to the top in his modest college house that he shares with his four other roommates.

“I let my roommates know that there might be a lot of people coming by because I had put our address on the CSU Snapchat story and announced to the Ramily that I was going to be crushing the (original) record and would love their support,” Gordon said.

“I was really excited for (Gordon) to try and break the record because it’s all he’s been talking about,” said Buck Porter, one of Gordon’s roommates. “We all decided to place bets to see how far (Gordon) could roll and if it was going to be smokable.”

Within the first few hours, Gordon had accumulated about 80 people into his background who had come to see the newest celebrity in town for themselves.

“Never would I have thought that when I decided to come to CSU that I’d also be attending a school with the world record holder for longest rolled joint,” Mary Jane said, a CSU student and bystander. “It’s truly inspiring to go to school with such role models.”

After about eight hours of grinding flower and rolling papers, Gordon squeezed the end of the joint and twisted a little tip on the end, concluding his masterpiece. With only his roommates and a handful of others who stayed till the end, Gordon was rewarded with a standing ovation and major bragging rights.

“My time at CSU has taught me a lot, but my biggest takeaway from being a Ram and what pushed me to the end was to never give up on my dreams,” Gordon said.

Reach Tacky Pocky at cannabis@collegian.com or on Twitter @TayTayPau.