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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

April Fools' Day

The Veggetti is a versatile and portable tool that can cut any vegetable into spirals. Carrots, sweet potatoes, zucchini, you name it, the veggetti can make it into spaghetti!
(Photo courtesy of Marco Verch via Flickr)

Huber: The Veggetti: the kitchen gadget that every college student needs

Allie Huber March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board. I don’t know about you, but...

Horoscopes for Wednesday, April 1 entail many wise predictions from the Collegian Staff. (Graphic via Wallpaper Flare)

Horoscopes for Wednesday, April 1

Collegian Staff March 31, 2020

Aries - The ghost of Babe Ruth once said, “Remember kid: … Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.” But Batman once said, “You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.”...

Coach Tom Hilbert acts as a stand in field goal during a Colorado State University football practice. Hilbert is now part of the CSU football coaching staff. (Smack Attackit | The Wake Up Slap)

BREAKING: Tom Hilbert to join CSU football staff for 2020-21 season

Ryan Loberger March 31, 2020

Taking a critical look around the Colorado State University athletics department, it’ll be difficult to find someone who’s been more consistent in their time in Fort Collins than volleyball coach Tom...

Leggings are featured in the window at Akinz. Akinz is a store that sells apparel in Old Town. The Aurora leggings (left) and the Into the Woods leggings (right). (Collegian file photo)

Neustadter: Leggings are not pants

Corinne Neustadter March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Colorado State University residence halls have a very strict zero tolerance policy regarding alcohol possession, consumption or paraphernalia. (Photo Illustration by Forrest Czarnecki | The Collegian)

Students fall prey to day drinking and cirrhosis, study reports

Noah Pasley March 31, 2020

Following the turbulent month March has been, it's only fitting to share yet another bout of bad news. While social distancing and self-isolation are certainly effective measures to curb COVID-19, they...

Changes to the Non-Tenture Track Faculty hiring and pay at Colorado State University have resulted in significant changes for current PhD students. PhD students who are working as instructors have been stripped of health, dental, vision and life insurance, as well as losing their retirement plan options. In order to maintain their employment, some students are having to pay the university for credit hours and have opted into the student health insurance plan. (Photo Illustration by Colin Shepherd | The Collegian)

CSU files for bankruptcy after collecting tuition on shortened semester

Forrest Czarnecki March 31, 2020

Colorado State University has filed for every single type of bankruptcy possible in a shocking move, only days after sending out a statement saying they would still milk the cow and collect every cent...

Uber Tweaks will now deliver meth straight to your front door. (Luke Boredman | The Wake Up Slap)

Uber Tweaks delivers meth to your front door for COVID-19

Ravyn Cullor March 31, 2020

With the surge of food and alcohol delivery options cropping up to encourage social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic, meth dealers have launched a new app, Uber Tweaks, to bring their product to...

Two students exchange drugs in a abandoned stairway. (Collegian Photo Illustration)

Cooke: Drug dealers are America’s heroes during quarantine

Cody Cooke March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board. If there's one silver lining...

Angling for puppy-vote, ASCSU puts forth first-ever canine candidate

Angling for puppy-vote, ASCSU puts forth first-ever canine candidate

Mikaela Rodenbaugh April 1, 2019
In a most unorthodox move for an Associated Students of Colorado State University election, the student government body made the decision to put its first-ever non-human candidate on the ballot.
Duke, Colorado State University’s newest addition to the men’s basketball team, addresses the media during a recent press conference. (Photo Illustration by Forrest Gump | Yeehaw Junction)

CSU men’s basketball recruits golden retriever as new point guard

Austin Fleskes March 31, 2019

Colorado State University men's basketball is about to get paw-some.  In an effort to increase the skill of the team, Niko Medved and the CSU basketball team recruited a golden retriever named Duke to...

election cancelled

Local election canceled; no one notices

Samantha Ye March 31, 2019

Due to lack of voter interest, the 2019 Fort Collins elections have been canceled. Also due to lack of interest, no one has reacted to this development. "In some ways, it is disappointing that really...

Student bikers ride on the Green Trail extension after its grand opening on Aug. 21. (Clara Scholtz | Collegian)

Campus stop sign on strike after being ignored by bikers

Delaney Allen March 31, 2019

A local stop sign has made headlines across the city this week after going on strike. The sign, who is located at a prominent intersection near one of campus' many dismount zones, says he has been feeling...

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