Relationships: Jealousy

Jillian Kolman

It’s only natural to hate that one b*tch who’s always making eyes at your man, or to be a little concerned that your girl’s lab partner has been asking for a little too much study help. Whether you’d like to admit it or not, jealousy plays a role of some kind in every relationship. It could play a big role, and one partner could lock the other up in a rapunzel-like fashion (which is illegal, btw), or it could be small, in that one partner wishes the other would be more jealous (yes, that’s normal). Either way, it’s a topic that is bound to come up eventually.


Jealousy is that feeling you get when you see the person you like flirting with someone else, or when they start dating someone else and constantly post their love on every social media forum there is. It’s that feeling of heartache that you get in your gut that makes you feel sad, mad, self-conscious and worried all at once. It’s that lovely feeling that can make you want to pull an Oedipus, but believe it or not, it can actually be good for your relationship.

It might be hard to believe, but jealousy can actually be beneficial to a relationship. If your partner is expressing some jealousy, take it as a compliment! They know you’re attractive and awesome enough to get some admirers, and they want to remain your one and only! Plus, jealousy can actually add a new spark in the relationship. It’s nice to be reminded that you’re lucky, or that you’re still wanted!

All that being said, too much jealousy can hurt a relationship, especially if you’re the one feeling it. Feeling jealous can be super frustrating and take a lot out of you. So, it’s important to be mature and evaluate your own trust in your partner. If you really trust your partner, letting jealousy control you will be a thing of your past.

On the flip side of that, if your partner is the one getting worked up every time your platonic friend sends a text your way, maturity is still going to be the way to go. Some jealousy from your partner can be humbling, and maybe even a turn on, but too much, and it’s easy to start feeling suffocated. If that’s the case, try talking with your partner. Explain that nothing would ever happen, that you’re trustworthy and that you’re worried that the jealousy will take a toll on your relationship. If you tried that and they’re still in the same place, it may be time to reevaluate where you stand with them.

Don’t be afraid to let your little green envy monster show! It could spice up your relationship and renew the spark between you. Just make sure not to let it get out of hand.

Collegian blogger Jillian Kolman can be reached at or on Twitter at @JillKolman. Read more of her content on Relationships. Leave a comment!