Relationships: Creating a healthy distance

Jillian Kolman

(Photo courtesy of Tumblr)

It’s time to talk about having a healthy distance in your relationship. Hey, I get it. Your significant other is great, really top notch. But you know what? So are your friends, ayour family, yourself, and the world outside of that one person! It is more than okay to love someone while still live a functional life outside of them.

During first part of the relationship, you should be a little infatuated with each other. The talking all night, taking a half hour to say goodbye, sharing stories, it’s all amazing! The honeymoon phase is completely normal and healthy. But we’ve all seen, or been a part of, those couples that are just short of obsessed with each other. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s fun. You’re basically living on a constant high, a feeling comparable to cocaine. But we’re not in high school anymore, and if your relationship is going to succeed, then you can’t ride that high forever.


If all you are, all you do, and all you think about is someone else, then where do you come in? No matter how lovely it might feel to allow your life to revolve around your significant other, it is wildly unhealthy, and your relationship has a good chance of crashing and burning at some point. If you’re constantly together or texting 24/7, you will eventually run out of things to say. You might even end up getting bored or sick of each other!

Also, remember those people you use to hang out with all the time? What are they called… Oh yeah, friends! Don’t become the friend who goes MIA every time cupid hits a bullseye. A good friend will stick around regardless of what’s distracting them! Your other relationships will likely take a hit if you don’t get some distance.

But even outside of that, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s a cliche, so you know it’s true. Give your significant other a chance to miss you! If you can’t live without them for an entire day, you won’t make it. You can still be over-the-moon happy with someone and not know where they are, what they’re doing and how they’re feeling 24/7.

Instead, try spending some nights apart. Text less and call more. Distance is necessary if you want to have a successful, healthy relationship.

If you want some distance and your significant other doesn’t seem to, it’s time for a talk. Try explaining that you think you’d be on a more successful path
with more space. If they don’t respect that, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.

Collegian blogger Jillian Kolman can be reached at or on Twitter at @JillKolman. Read more of her content on Relationships. Leave a comment!