Relationships: Experimenting with sexuality in college

Jillian Kolman

If you were anything like me, you’ve been thinking about going to college since you learned what it was. You watched the movies, you heard the stories and created a nice picture in your head of exactly what college must be like.

I always figured I’d be broke, unhealthy and lazy. I also assumed I’d have to party every weekend and experiment with my sexuality at some point in order to really get the full college experience. I wasn’t all wrong; I am broke and lazy. But I exercise more than ever, go to maybe one party each semester and have learned that experimenting in college is far from required.


Media in our society has always portrayed college as the ideal time and place to experiment with your sexuality, and rightly so. With a combination of new found freedom and attractive, smart classmates, it’s the perfect recipe to find yourself in a situation where you ask, “Hey, why not?”

See, in college, you can bring home someone of the same sex after a date and head to your room without having to explain it to your parents. You might have a confused roommate to answer to, but that’s far more manageable. No need for someone to know where you are and who you’re with at all times, which is why right now is better than ever if you’re thinking about experimenting.

Say you’re out one night and getting looks from a dude in a way that no dude has ever looked at you before, or say your best girlfriend from forever ago says she’s wondering if you’d be interested in trying something. The question can come up in many different ways, but as much as you plan out your answer, you could feel totally different in the moment.

One of the biggest ladies-men I ever knew ran into his drunk gym-buddy at a party about a year ago. His friend stubbled to him, said something along the lines of, “I wanna try something,” and kissed him. They’ve been happily together ever since.

On the flip side of that, I’ve also known someone who swore she’d love to be with another woman if the opportunity ever came up, but when the opportunity did come, it didn’t take long for her to learn that it wasn’t something she was actually interested in.

Basically, you don’t know until you try! If you really don’t want to try, that’s cool too! Whether it be because of religious views or you just know you’re not into it, you know you better than anyone. So, if the day comes when it’s time for you to leave college and head into the world, don’t feel like you missed out on anything because you didn’t explore your sexuality. College is an individual experience, so don’t compare yours to anyone else’s.