Seriously: you know it’s fall when your drug dealer offers you Pumpkin Spice Blow

Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick

Here at Seriously, we want to ensure you have the best fall you can have, so I’m sharing my favorite way to enjoy the season.

How do you know fall has began?

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Is it the crunching of leaves under your boots?

Is it the cold mornings paired with sunny afternoons?

The flannel that migrates from being tied around your waist to covering your arms?

How about swapping your t-shirts for sweaters, your iced coffees for hot?

I personally know it’s fall when my drug dealer offers me something he only carries seasonally. Pumpkin Spice Blow.

Now I’m not too into gutter glitter (or snowflakes) usually, but nothing says fall to me like that wonderful orange powder.

The essential smells of fall include musky trees, roasting meats, caramel apples, and firewood, but that list just wouldn’t be complete without the residue of my favorite flavored coke in my nose.

If you have the chance, I really suggest you give it a try. It’s also a great buy if you’re looking to support young, local entrepreneurs.

It may possibly just be overpriced cocaine with some nutmeg and cinnamon in it, but it sure makes my season feel special.

Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at blogs@collegian.com or on Twitter at @TatianaSophiaPT.

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Disclaimer: Seriously is a satire blog, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All articles from Seriously are creations of fiction, and presumably fake publications. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are fictitious events based on real people. Photos used do not have any connection to the story and are used within the rights of free reuse, as well as cited to the best of our ability. Seriously is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.