Seriously: Man on date rushes to confess he knows everything

Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick

Garcia captures romantic evening (photo courtesy of
The romantic evening. (photo courtesy of

On a romantic first date to Chipotle, a local couple tested waters to see if they have anything in common. The two’s magic first sparked when they met drunk at their cool friend Seth’s house. They decided to go out and see if they like each other sober.

“I thought he was totally cute when I first saw him, but to be honest, I thought everybody was pretty cute by that time of night,” said sophomore English major Jaleen Garcia.


Her date, junior biomedical science major Ryan Herousi, told Seriously that of all the hot girls he met that night, she was totally in the top five.

Halfway through the date, Herousi rushed to confess that he does, in fact, know everything.

“We were just making our way through some small talk and suddenly he became quite animate about how smart he is,” Garcia said. “I can’t say for sure what prompted it.”

She sat through the rest of date listening to Herousi recall all his experiences that led him to intellectual superiority. Garcia hopes that by sitting across for him in that cozy Chipotle, she could somehow absorb some of his apparently unending intellect.

 “We see this a lot in young dating life. People will go on dates and suddenly the male will feel the need to express his intellectual superiority in some kind of mental arm-wrestle that the date never showed interest in engaging in,” said psychologist Taylour Johnston. “I would really like to make it clear that this will happen without ever being instigated, often women will be confused on how the conversation went from what her date’s favorite kind of dog is, to how he has supreme knowledge in most all things.”

Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at or on Twitter at @TatianaSophiaPT.