During Niko Medved’s introductory press conference held on March 23, the new CSU men’s basketball coach revealed he is a lifelong fan of Larry Eustachy and would be honored to work alongside him. Upon hearing this news, Eustachy ripped off his Morgan’s Grind apron and reached out to Medved with an offer he couldn’t resist – a mentorship by the great Iowa State coach of decades past.

The two met behind Moby Arena late last night to discuss the guidelines for Eustachy’s guidance.

“I was so excited to meet him in person,” Medved said. “He’s such a charismatic man who really cares about his players’ feelings.”

Although eager to start this partnership, Medved was slightly disturbed by Eustachy’s one rule that he claims is the key to healthy team chemistry.

“He told me that every time a player missed a shot, I had to throw a can of Diet Coke at them,” Medved said. “Seems a little bizarre, but he’s a legend and you can’t argue with legends.”

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from the Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

Collegian sports reporter Michelle Gould can be reached at sports@collegian.com or on Twitter @michellegouldd.