Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
There is no denying that sex can be exciting, fun, inviting and something to be sought after. Sex is a crucial part of life for many people across the world and a major factor in many people’s romantic relationships. One important aspect of a person’s sex life is the frequency with which they desire sexual contact. This is an issue that requires sensitivity, as discourse surrounding it can involve a great amount of societal pressure and shame.
Sex drive, or libido, refers to a person’s desire to engage in sexual acts, partnered or alone. Libido, specifically low libido, can be an extremely sensitive and often taboo issue, especially among young people. The societal expectation tends to be that young adults all have extremely high sex drives and are always ready and willing to engage in intercourse. While this may be true for some folks, it does not apply to every person, and many people do not experience significant interest in sex.
The issue of low sex drive is shrouded in stigma, and much of this is due to social media, movies, TV shows and even peer-to-peer interactions that push the narrative that a person should always be ready to have sex and be excited to do so. Many people hold the belief that if a person does not want to have sex in a given moment, it means that they are not attracted to their partner, withholding sex or even struggling with their sexual orientation. All of these narratives are completely inaccurate and, frankly, very harmful, especially to young people who are just beginning to explore their relationships with sex.
“It is essential that people who experience sexual attraction engage in sexual activity with partners who honor their sexual needs and desires, and this includes the frequency at which they wish to participate in sex. “
For people who experience sexual attraction, consistently being physically and mentally prepared for sex can be extremely important. Experiencing attraction without the drive to engage in sexual acts is completely normal but may be incredibly frustrating and confusing and can cause significant issues with self-esteem and sexual confidence. There are countless reasons that a person may experience a decrease in their sex drive, ranging from physical difficulties to mental barriers surrounding sexuality.
One prominent cause of low libido in younger people is medications. Many prescription medications list decreased interest in sex and difficulty becoming aroused as common side effects, and this can be incredibly challenging. One class of medications that is especially infamous for causing a decrease in libido is the SSRI class, more commonly known as antidepressants. In female-bodied individuals, low libido can also come as a result of hormonal medications, including hormonal birth control. Hormonal medications can come with a variety of sex-related side effects, ranging from a lack of physical responses to sexual stimulation — a lack of natural vaginal lubrication, for example — to little mental interest in sex. These side effects are very common and, although frustrating, are extremely normal.
Other common causes of low sex drive include drug and alcohol use, stress, mental health concerns, anxiety about sexual performance and numerous other physical and mental barriers. Additionally, libido naturally wanes with age, and many people experience a decreased interest in sex as they get older. Sexuality is heavily influenced by a person’s environment, overall physical and mental well-being and other circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter.
When discussing issues of sexual desire and the drive to engage in sex, it is imperative we acknowledge the fact that these issues are completely unique to each and every person. Some individuals have naturally high sex drives, while others have significantly less interest in sex. Having a low sex drive does not indicate that there is anything wrong with you, and while it can be discouraging to struggle with low libido, especially as a young person, you are not alone.
Sex, by nature, is very personal and is experienced differently by every individual. It is essential that people who experience sexual attraction engage in sexual activity with partners who honor their sexual needs and desires, and this includes the frequency at which they wish to participate in sex.
Sex should always feel exciting and wanted and should only occur when every party involved is enthusiastic about it. No one should ever feel pressured to engage in sex if they do not fully desire it, and it is time to fully normalize honoring your personal sexual needs. If you want to have sex five times a day, that is wonderful. And if you need to go months or even years without sex, you are completely valid. Sex is a different journey for everyone, and it must be acknowledged as such.
Reach Astrid Thorn at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @CSUCollegian.
