Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
What’s worse than being neurodivergent and attending a social gathering? Hosting a gathering and noticing a friend struggling to engage or getting overstimulated. As someone who is neurodivergent myself and loves to host people at their house, I have picked up a couple of things that can be helpful in making everyone feel a little more comfortable.
1. Television
There’s honestly nothing crazier than having people over and keeping the giant black box in your living room turned off.
The reason I love having the TV on is because it makes the whole environment feel a lot less awkward. However, you have to be a bit careful with this option because it can definitely make the overstimulation aspect a lot worse under certain circumstances.
But depending on the vibe, throw on a sports game, the news, an animated movie or a YouTube video and click that sound off — out of sight, out of mind. But now there is a buffer activity to participate in, just in case you’re standing there in between conversations.
2. Animals
If you’re coming to my house, you are inevitably going to be greeted by a meowing Phil, Pebbles or Marge.
The great thing about animal friends running around is they provide a great distraction to socialize with or a place to glance in a pinch, like the TV. Think about Taylor Swift at the Grammys — unsure of what to do with herself — and then imagine if a dog or cat had been there.
Beyond animals being forced to interact with us whenever we want, they also have huge nervous system regulatory benefits. Human-animal interactions release oxytocin, popularly referred to as the love hormone, in the human brain, which reduces stress and anxiety levels.
3. Safe spot
Designating a safe spot is one of those things that sounds a lot harder than it truly is.
Especially with social gatherings wherein a lot of different people are attending, it can be hard to convey one straight message to all attendees. However, letting your guests know in the initial invite that your room, backyard or whatever it may be is accessible to them during the gathering will go a long way for folks who get overstimulated.
Even though this is a great option for people who get overstimulated, a lot of different guests may find themselves in situations where they need to be in private — and you’ve got them.
4. Waiting room
Picking up random magazines and flyers is so easy, especially on Colorado State University’s campus. You could even support The Collegian and grab a newspaper on your way home.
The point is, I love flipping through shit when I’m nervous. National Geographic works great if you’re also trying to curate a vibe in your home.
5. Spread the gathering
Gatherings can feel 20 times more overwhelming when everybody is squished together; 12 people feels like 80 people, and there’s way too much going on to not get overstimulated. Spread out and get the hell off of me. I will never enjoy being a sardine.
Student housing can make this very hard to pull off, so consider opening up blinds and doors. Even if you don’t want anybody to go in a particular room, it can help make the space feel larger.
If you do have the capacity for this option, though, many people will naturally gravitate toward a space with the group they’re engaging with. You probably just have to have enough seating set up in multiple areas, and you’re good.
I hope this helps not only serve as a guide but also as a reflection on how we can make the world more accessible and comfortable for all. This listicle is based on my experiences and is not one size fits all. The best thing you can do for your guests is ask how you can make your function more comfortable and listen and support their specific needs.
Reach Caden Proulx at letters@collegian.com or on Instagram @CSUCollegian.
