SERIOUSLY: CSU adds new degree program: ‘Weekend of TED Talks’

Marshall Dunham

Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.

Colorado State University will be offering a new degree program in the new school year: “A weekend of TED Talks.”

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“It’s a fantastic idea,” said program creator Garrett Watson. “Because let’s face it, I’m pretty sure any student here could probably acquire the knowledge equivalent of a college degree on a rainy Saturday browsing TED Talks.”

Watson went on to comment that, although the program could most likely be knocked out in a single day, he thought it would be a great idea to make it two days long, giving college students an opportunity to explore.

“Because that’s what college is all about,” remarked Watson. “Even if you have your whole career path lined up, it’s important to take some classes, or TED Talks, that offer you virtually no benefit or learning opportunities whatsoever.”

He went on to comment that the real joy of college wasn’t in the learning or the growing, but rather the opportunity to waste away the prime of your life “screwing around with some real underwater basket weaving nonsense.”

This aforementioned program won’t be limited to just TED Talks, however.

“There’s a whole Wikipedia portion too, where we basically have students just click the ‘random article’ button for an hour and a half,” Watson added. “That ‘random article’ button really embodies the entire college experience we’re trying to convey here.”

Many students gave nods of approval towards the new program.

“I just like that CSU finally owned up to the fact that a person can gain the equivalent of a college degree with a couple of hours and an internet connection,” remarked TED Talks major Izabella Martinez.

She went on to say that her favorite part of the program was the aforementioned “random Wikipedia article” section.

“I just like that CSU finally owned up to the fact that a person can gain the equivalent of a college degree with a couple of hours and an internet connection.”

“It’s like, am I going to be learning about nuclear fission or Republican Dan Benishek?” Martinez asked. “At the same time, who the hell really cares? I’m just going to go push grocery carts at a King Soopers when I graduate anyway.”

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Marshall Dunham can be reached at letters@collegian.com or online at @gnarshallfunham