Holding on to fading memories

I think one of the worst things about long distance relationships is that memories start to fade faster. Things that have happened become blurry. Photographs just become images you can hold in your hand. I’ll look at pictures of my best friends and I in Los Angeles celebrating my birthday, and it seems like a lifetime ago. It had only happened maybe two months ago. I’ll look at pictures of my family that we took this summer, and I hardly remember exactly what happened anymore. It’s not that I don’t care or am blocking out the memories. Ever since college started, everything that happened before college seems like forever ago.

This made it even harder on things with my boyfriend. We had started dating a little before summer started, so there was no homework or school to bother us. We pretty much had the entire summer to ourselves. But this past summer seemed like such a dream. We were talking about it the other day; all of our memories seemed so blurry and distant. We were glad they happened, and thinking back on the memories made us happy. The memories were just that though – memories.


I was also talking on the phone with my best friend the other day just to catch up. We try and keep this “Telephone Tuesday” thing going where we’ll call each other during a long break we have during classes. So here we were catching up and talking about things that had happened back in California, but it all just seemed so far away. I mean, I guess everything is far away now. She’s in California, and I’m in Colorado now. But not only is everything far away distance-wise, but I really do feel like I’m living a different life here now in Colorado. I’m making new memories with new people, and I can feel myself changing and growing.

This makes things hard on you when you’re trying to keep up with your long distance relationships. You want to move on, make new friends, and create new memories. At the same time, you’re fighting to keep your old ones. But then, I was thinking about it, and it made me realize something. Memories will fade, but you can’t chase after them. You can always hold on to them and the people you love dearly in your heart. However, I think memories fade to make room for new memories. Looking back on your old memories also makes you look forward to making future ones – with the new and old people in your life. Again, it’s all about finding that balance in your life. But in the meantime, these memories and images help tide you over until the next time you can make new ones.

Me? I’m still trying to find that balance, but I’m working on it. I know I’ll get there eventually though.