4 FoCo restaurants to cure cottonmouth

Elena Waldman

Editor’s Note: The Collegian does not condone or promote the illegal consumption of marijuana for individuals under 21 years old. 

As far as college town activities go, getting stoned and going out to restaurants is pretty underrated. Perhaps this is because turning 21 opens the doors, literally and figuratively, to freely enjoying mixed drinks at bars or craft beer at the many Fort Collins breweries.

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These drunken nights out become the norm, so we forget the simple satisfaction of a good meal consumed in the best possible state to consume a meal — appropriately high. 

Not every restaurant passes the stoner (or rather stoned person) test. After all, the quality of the food is not the only factor considered when it comes to rating a restaurant, just like cinematography is not the only factor considered when rating a movie. Here, I will employ three different metrics that seem to be of consequence to the average stoner: quality of taste, ambiance and portion sizes. 

Here are four of the best restaurants to visit while stoned. 

  1. Sign on building
    Cheba Hut is a sandwich shop on the corner of North College Avenue and Laurel Street, Dec. 3, 2019. (Alyssa Uhl | The Collegian)

    The classic option: Cheba Hut 

There are few ways to convince a stoner to choose dining in instead of taking out, but if there is a place to do it, it’s Cheba Hut. Cheba Hut was practically made for stoners. With sandwich options like “kush” and “dank,” vegetarian options represented with a weed leaf and fountain drinks referred to as “cottonmouth cures,” this restaurant is especially on the nose about catering to a weed-friendly audience.

Ambiance: Again, you can’t get anymore “stoners welcome” than Cheba Hut. What works about the Hut’s ambiance is that if you’re under the influence of weed, you’re likely in good company. It’s worth noting that Cheba Hut is also open until 3 a.m. on Friday and Saturday, and with chill music and friendly staff, it’s a great choice for some late night munchies. 

10/10 

Quality of taste: If there’s one thing stoners love, it’s mixing a bunch of random foods together in an attempt to create a somewhat edible dish. Whether or not that actually works for people is unknown, but Cheba Hut has seemingly nailed it. Their experimental subs combine just the right amount of unique flavors without being too overwhelming. If you’re a picky eater, this may not appeal to you, but there are plenty of other options that are equally satisfying. 

7/10 

Portion sizes: Cheba Hut subs come in three sizes: the 4-inch “nug,” 8-inch “pinner” and 12-inch “blunt.” If these portion sizes don’t satisfy your appetite, their generously-sized desserts or sides might do the trick. 

8/10

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2. To spice things up: Saigon Grill

Saigon Grill, new location, asian food, local restaurant, Fort Collins
Saigon Grill’s new location across from the Colorado State University campus at 1120 S. College Ave. (Collegian File Photo)

Saigon Grill may not come to many people’s minds in terms of “stoner food,” but if you have a craving for good Asian food, it’s the best option in Fort Collins. 

Ambiance: As opposed to some of the busier atmospheres you’ll find in many Old Town restaurants, Saigon Grill has more of a calm, relaxing vibe. If packed restaurants are a little too overwhelming, the friendly staff at Saigon may be a breath of fresh air. 

7/10

Quality of taste: There’s something for everyone, even the pickiest of eaters, at Saigon Grill. Some of the top-rated menu items include pork egg rolls and sesame chicken, but the considerable menu includes pho, pad thai, fried rice and plenty of other items to choose from. 

9/10

Portion sizes: While most of the entrees don’t ring up higher than $13, they are easily enough to feed at least two people. The best way to enjoy Saigon’s menu is to get a group together and share some of their most popular entrees — especially if you’re an indecisive foodie. 

10/10

3. To satisfy a strong sweet tooth: Mary’s Mountain Cookies 

Cookie selection at Mary’s Mountain Cookies. (Photo Courtesy of Brianna Nash)

Maybe you’re the type of stoner to get a sweet tooth. If that’s the case, look no further than Mary’s Mountain Cookies. Of course, Mary’s isn’t a restaurant as much as it is a bakery, but their hearty desserts are sure to satisfy sweet cravings. 

Ambiance: The friendly staff at Mary’s Mountain Cookies makes it a no-brainer for a late-night snack, and the mouth-watering smell of freshly baked cookies will surely get rid of your cottonmouth. 

8/10

Quality of taste: These sweet treats are no joke. Foodies can choose between the classic cookie flavors or be more adventurous with some of their alternating flavors, like their coffee chocolate chip and cream cheese brownie. If your cravings are especially enhanced under certain substances, you can also opt for an ice cream sandwich. Mary’s has gluten-free options as well. 

10/10

Portion sizes: These cookies pack a flavorful punch, so while they aren’t necessarily the size of your face, they are decadent enough to be shared (depending on how much you like to snack while stoned). 

The Gold Leaf Collective interior. (Brooke Buchan | The Collegian)

10/10

4. The vegan option: The Gold Leaf Collective 

Vegans rarely get an entire menu to choose from, much less one that doesn’t taste like a slightly stranger version of the food it is trying to mimic. The Gold Leaf’s menu offers plenty of junk food for vegans who want to swap their regular quinoa and tofu for some more hearty fried buffalo “wings.” 

Ambiance: The Gold Leaf is a quaint space with tasteful, rustic decor and a homey feel. It’s more intimate than some of the other options, so it might not be the place to bring a large group of stoners, but it is perfect for a chill night out. 

10/10

Quality of taste: If you’re a lover of all things meat and cheese, The Gold Leaf Collective might not be for you, but their all-vegan menu offers some pretty promising alternatives. The Gold Leaf is an especially great spot for vegan breakfast lovers, as they serve breakfast all day (the pancakes are a personal favorite). 

9/10

Portion sizes: The Gold Leaf doesn’t go overboard with portions, which is great for those stoners who make themselves sick eating an entire pint of ice cream. Still, they are pretty hearty portions, so you won’t leave feeling hungry.  

7/10

Elena Waldman can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @WaldmanElena