Four warning signs of adulthood

Rachel Fountain

With the end of the semester and graduation getting closer every day, some of you seniors might start to notice some strange things happening in your life. Things that you’ve known for the past four years may begin to undergo sudden and bizarre changes, leaving you confused and disoriented. These changes are signs that adulthood is near — adulthood is waiting to strike. It will attempt to sneak up on us, so we must know the signs.

1. Wedding invites on the fridge. 

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(Via GIPHY.)

This is a classic sign of impending adulthood. Imagine it’s the morning, and you go to your kitchen to get some breakfast. After you pull out the OJ and close the fridge door, you see them. The wedding invitation that your roommate has put on the refrigerator is now joined by two others. And wait — what’s that? You actually have heard of these people? Impossible.

You begin to panic due to the fact that your peers are starting to marry each other (which is a very adult thing to do) while you haven’t entirely dismissed the notion of cooties. Before you know it, there will be more wedding invitations, and the degrees of separation between you and the marry-ers will dwindle until … well, we needn’t discuss it. …

2. Facebook looks different. 

(Via GIPHY.)

You are waiting for class to start, and you whip out your phone to do some mindless social media scrolling, just as you’ve done every day for the past four years. You find yourself scrolling through Facebook and you begin to notice that something is different … all your friends seem to have changed their profile pictures. Mirror selfies and silly faces have been replaced by disturbingly well-lit and tasteful shots of your friends smiling or laughing against a background of trees or buildings.

They all seem to have shorter, more stylish haircuts and eventually you admit to yourself how dang mature and professional everybody looks. That’s when it hits you: Your Facebook feed has been adult-ed. A shiver runs down your spine when you realize that your friends all have profiles that their grandmothers and potential employers wouldn’t find offensive. 

3. Kids on campus. 

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(Via GIPHY.)

Another sign of impending adulthood occurs as you exit the library or walk through the LSC. You suddenly feel as though you are surrounded by kids, and after observing your surroundings more closely you come to a harrowing realization. You wonder if there’s just something in the water or what because it becomes apparent that the fresh-faced young ones toting their IDs on lanyards around campus are actually freshman and the even younger-looking ones that stand in groups around the library are actually high school seniors on a tour.

You suddenly feel very vintage, but not in a cool way. You cannot believe that you looked that young just four short years ago, before the stress and late nights of college turned you into an oldster right under your nose. This bizarre and disorienting phenomenon is a sure sign of adulthood.

4. You like boring stuff. 

(Via GIPHY.)

The final and most disturbing sign of adulthood occurs within your own mind. It is slow, subtle and often you do not realize it until it is too late. You get a peculiar satisfaction from the most mundane things in life, like having food in the fridge at home or gas in the tank. You realize it’s a miracle that you have your life together enough to have both of those things in the first place, but it gets worse.

You actually look forward to nights by yourself at home where you can just eat some food, watch your favorite TV show and go to bed. You may even prefer just having “a chill weekend,” doing nothing instead of action-packed and irresponsible adventures with your friends that will leave you catching up on sleep for days afterward. This is adulthood. It has taken over your mind.

All GIFS Courtesy of Giphy.com. 

Collegian Arts and Culture reporter Rachel Fountain can be reached at @collegian.com or on Twitter @rachelcfountain.