Sassy with Cassie: mid-college crisis

Cassie Maack

Freshman,

“Consider yourself at home
Consider yourself one of the family
We’ve taken to you so strong
It’s clear we’re going to get along.” – Oliver

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Nothing like a little Oliver Twist to start your semester off right.

Welcome to the Ramily, freshmen.  

First breakdown of the semester in three, two … first day of school. Do you know what’s scary in a good way? Life. A year and a half left of college makes me feel like I might wet myself.

Freshman, welcome to four to six years of people asking you what you are going to do when you are done. At the moment, you may be unsure or totally sure, but will change your mind.

Do that. Change your mind. Try everything that sparks a little bit of interest. Don’t be afraid to start over or try something you never thought you could. It will bring you endless joy and excitement and growth.

And one day you’ll show up to class no longer a scared freshman, with total confidence in your major and your friends. After that moment of pure contentment will come the realization that you only have somewhere around 1.5 years left in the safety of college. In 1.5 years, the question of what you want to be when you grow up will be irrelevant.

Creative child minds have unique, hopeful ideas regarding what they want to be when they grow up.

In kindergarten, my best friend wanted to be a Barbie when she grew up. She did not pursue that dream. She is instead studying English.

I once heard a little boy say he wanted to be a fire truck. I did not follow up with him. He might be out fire trucking this very moment.

I, on the other hand, thought “Fear Factor” was the bee’s knees. For me, the coolest thing in the world was staying up past 8 p.m. to watch “Fear Factor.”

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When I started doing poorly on timed math tests, I had to study instead, which made me cry. I wanted to watch “Fear Factor.” “Fear Factor” was my dream.

I would be the strongest player in the round when they eat things or sit in bathtubs full of spiders. I’d laugh at the people who puked up their scorpion.

“Haha. Go home.”

In third grade, I was also the girl who ate flies. Every school had one of those, right?

Just a warning: if you are considering eating a fly in front of a classroom of people, know that that is a really hard reputation to break. “Weirdo” was a common nickname for muah, and not much has changed. I say whatevah to my haterz.

I was preparing for “Fear Factor.” Taking steps to achieve one goal. Sorry, but “girl who kisses toads” is not offensive.

What I am trying to say is that I was totally goal-oriented then and still am. Not toward “Fear Factor.” I really, really never ever want to eat a raw bug. Unless it gets me extra credit in Insects in Society. Would it, Whitney Cranshaw and Matthew Camper?

My dreams have changed, but I am more terrified for life than I ever was of “Fear Factor.”

But, I am also really excited. Plans are meant to change. I don’t think there was ever meant to be a kid version of “Fear Factor.” I think I was meant to change my majors around, as most do, and I think I was meant to eat ice cream out of the carton the second I arrived home. Just kidding — that doesn’t work for food.

I won’t be Hannah Montana, or a “Fear Factor” champion. I did not know that as a kid, but I know that now and I’m okay with it. Even though the first day of school is intimidating every year and graduation is even more so, not everything has to be perfect. “Nobody’s Perfect,” as Hannah would say. Planning your entire life is for losers and squares.

Collegian A&E Columnist Cassie Maack can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @maackcl.