The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
African American female student studying from home during lockdown
Pediatric NP Online Programs: Alleviating Gaps in Colorado's Healthcare System
April 10, 2024

In Colorado's intricate healthcare sector, the provision of specialized care to its pediatric population remains a challenge. Pediatric Nurse...

Dave’s Marketplace: a farewell from Dave himself

Goodbye sweet college, you beautiful beast – you multifaceted multicolored washboard of pure flavor. Since the first time I entered the dorms and met my roommate, Logan, I knew that we would be together forever, college. Or at least for four years.

Oh, college, you taught me how to sleep in class and wake up for iClicker questions and how to hit my snooze button three times per morning. You held my hair in the dank alleyways of Old Town and kicked me in the groin for staying with that one woman for too long. You showed me how to turn one ambiguous phrase into a five page paper and how to compliment online tests with a nice six pack. Yes, college, you’re the real MVP.


But, all good things must come to an end.

Gone are the days of beer-soaked floors and champagne-laden ceilings. I have to bid farewell to Scantron tests and RamCT. Tears will fall when I reminisce about forgetting to pay my energy bill and freezing that cold night in December. Beer Olympics, backyard half-pipes, campus radio, spraying fire extinguishers in buildings (twice), cliff-jumping at Horsetooth and games of baseball will dot my mind when I think the word “college.”

There will be no more learning how to drink – from now on, it’s an expected mastery. Dorm food will no longer slide down my gullet and blast from my nether regions in a bathroom shared by four dudes. I don’t expect my room to smell like feet anymore, and for some reason, this saddens me.

You see, college, you have been the greatest four years any man could ask for. I am forever indebted to your mighty grace in the face of my tomfoolery. You’re hands guided me on a path to real life and, although there were some hiccups along the way, I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher. My professors, friends, girlfriends, acquaintances and random encounters were all a part of the master plan. With that, I can confidently enter the void and recognize my potential as not just a student, but as a global citizen.

So thank you Matt, Nelson, Dan, Logan, Logan, Steven, Nick, Dr. Pork, Jake, Tessa, Mia, Chandler, Roy, Jackson, Schuyler, Ashley, Collin, Alex, Sammy, Kyle, Ian, Cristina, Kaitlyn, Abe, David, Taylor, Grey, Heather and all the rest (you know who you are). It’s been a pleasure, but school Dave needs to go spread his wings and fly.

College, it has been a treat. You’re perfect as you are – please don’t change.

Collegian A&E Contributor Davis English can be reached at

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *