The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
Flower Power Botanicals in Fort Collins Celebrates ‘420’ all April with these amazing Deals & Promotions:
April 15, 2024

In Colorado, April is always the month to celebrate, especially if you are a medical and recreational marijuana dispensary in Fort Collins. On...

Sassy with Cassie: parents and youth sports

As a little sister sitting in the stands of my big sister’s basketball games, all I wanted to do was go home and dance to the “Lizzie McGuire” soundtrack in preparation for my inevitable stardom. It’s eerily similar to this moment right now, when I would rather be at home watching “Hannah Montana.” Or, I would want to, had Netflix not so rudely removed it. I almost cried.

Anywho, the one thing that held my interest throughout these weekend tournaments were the parents. Their rage was unparalleled.

Ad

Their too-young-to-be-that-mad-year-old daughter gets lightly slapped on the arm during a layup and the referee fails to call it. Each parent in the stand goes, as Drake would say, “zero to 100 real quick.”

And I am not convinced that these parents breathe before or during their yelling fits. Faces are red, spit flies and vulgar words are thrown toward the court.

I went to a high school soccer game a couple of weeks ago to see my cousin play and — rest assured — the angry parents were on their game. One fellow just kept shouting, “You’re harrible,” at the refs. I spell it with an ‘a,’ because that is literally how he pronounced it, similar to Mary Katherine Gallagher in “Superstar.”

Here are some of the most common things parents shout at youth sporting events:

“Hey, ref! Are you blind?”

“Open your eyes!”

Additionally, there are several choice ones I’m pretty sure I cannot write in the campus paper.

Needless to say, this is not behavior the Pope would be proud of.

I feel angry parents would fit in flawlessly in the ancient Roman Colosseum watching a gladiator face off against a lion – teeth gnashing, spear yielding, a collision, a battle and high stakes.

Ad

Certainly, it seems the stakes should be higher than simply a small tower with a little gold person on top sitting in a trophy case full of dust. Let’s face it, one person may glance at that award every 10 years or so, just to check how long it has been since that particular school was good at something.

If you proudly won a tournament in high school, I am almost sorry for offending you. It is great that you did/do something that you love, something active.

More things parents say:

“Bite ‘em!”

“Knock ‘em to the ground!”

OK, maybe those are just from my personal experience in elementary school. Playing basketball with a team of biting little girls was less than ideal.

My neighborhood kids used to partake in what we called “tackle basketball.” No blood, no foul. Street rules. The grass served as a space to knock each other flat on our tiny faces. One girl went home after the neighbor boy hacked multiple loogies at her feet and face. That was the worst thing to ever happen.

Can’t take the heat, get off the driveway. Know what I’m sayin’?

On that note, who wants to start an intramural tackle basketball league?

Collegian A&E Columnist Cassie Maack can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @maackcl.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *