Sassy With Cassie: Welcome back, spring break

Cassie Maack

We are in the final stretch. So close, yet so far from the infamous college spring break. I am sure that I, like most, am ready to be finished with this third quarter of the year.

Many plan for spring break all semester long. Up until this one week, responsibilities hold students back from living out their college dreams. Winter break is spent with family indoors, because the outside freezes your nose runs. During school, students try all they can to keep their grades up, even if that means spending four hours writing an essay (watching Netflix).

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But those days will soon be over. This is not winter break. This is not school. This is spring break.

Just kidding. Spring break is to college as prom is to high school. A lifetime of young adult media makes it seem wonderful and romantic and sexually charged, but disappointment lurks and Ben and Jerry will still be waiting.

Regardless, a break is needed. Sleep sounds super swell right about now. I stay up late doing homework. I continue to go to meetings and classes that could be summed up in three sentences. I need spring break. School makes me cry, because I don’t want to go.

Not that I claim to be 100 percent on top of my stuff all the time, but midterms are worse than the first weeks of school. I am burnt out, spacey and on the verge of a mental break.

The other day, I burnt a hole in a leotard when I was bedazzling it. I got in trouble and was sent to the corner to brush wigs. I didn’t mind. The wigs were soft and I petted them for 10 minutes.

That same day, I also almost got hit by a car on my way home. I used my hands to push myself off the car, laughed, made an “uh-oh” face and the fella at the bus stop looked concerned by my reaction.

When I arrived home, I laid on the floor and pretended I was a starfish.

Starfish don’t have responsibilities. No one makes starfish go to school. And yet, starfish are still stars. Isn’t the American dream, in the end, just to be a super star? And starfish get to stay in the ocean and hang out with sea turtles.

If there ever was an appropriate expectation for spring break, it is to go straight chillin’ with starfish and sea turtles.

I understand the appeal of wild partying and getting crunk to dirty jazz music, but sea turtles are majestic and college kids puking in lakes is not. And I’m sure if a turtle were to dance, he would not look like a gyrating chimpanzee.

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Spring break might not be what every college movie makes it out to be, but it does not need to be.

Let’s stop laying unfair expectations on this time of year and accept it for what it is: a break during the spring.

One we all need.

One I clearly need, because I don’t even understand half of what I just wrote and I think my brain keeps freezing. I wish to all of you a wonderful break. May you come back ready to take charge of the final quarter before the real break begins: summer. Or real life (sorry seniors).

Collegian A&E Columnist Cassie Maack can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @maackcl.