The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
The Importance of Supporting Engineering Education
The Importance of Supporting Engineering Education
February 20, 2024

In today's era of information technology, engineering plays the role of a vanguard, trying to optimize processes and develop new products, making...

Cam the Ram granted freedom after successful boxer-raid

Earlier this week, Cameron Theodore Ramsworth — otherwise known as Cam the Ram to the easily amused denizens of Fort Collins — was finally granted his freedom from Colorado State University after successfully raiding the boxer shorts of Alpha Kappa Lamba.

“It was tough to see him go,” said Tony Frank in a press conference. “But that was the agreement that Cam and Lucifer Collins made in 1946, back when he was still a human being. Besides, I’ll be damned if that wasn’t the finest boxer-raid I’ve seen since my carefree days as Wartburg boy.”

Ad

The raid had been attempted previously by a S.W.A.T team, a fleet of drones and a confused, partially-deaf freshman wearing glow-in-the-dark body paint and waving glow sticks in everyone’s faces. Up until now it had never been successful.

“I’ll admit to being disappointed,” said AKΛ president Dylan Hemsworth. “We’ve had those boxers on display above our fireplace since before I can remember, since before anyone can remember, since before CSU, Cam the Ram, civilization, the consciousness of man, before the sun began to set in the east and before the almighty Lucifer Collins battled the treacherous Gabriel Greeley in the clouds above us all. I’ll admit to being impressed, however. I’ll be damned if it wasn’t the finest boxer-raid I’ve seen since my days as a Wartburg boy.”

When asked what he would do with his freedom, Cam the Ram baa-ed, chewed on some grass and said, “I will go where the path takes me, for there are other places and other times that may need a lovable mascot by their side. Although I am leaving, I will not be gone. I will always be somewhere. We are always somewhere.”

Cam the Ram then sprouted wings and flew off into the sunset, as all rams do.

The Hall Monitor-Herald is written by Lauren Funai, Niles Hachmeister, Chris Vanjonack and Andrew Walker. Help our writers gain their freedom by liking us on Facebook and finding us online at thehallmonitorherald.com.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Hey, thanks for visiting Collegian.com!
We’d like to ask you to please disable your ad blocker when looking at our site — advertising revenue directly supports our student journalists and allows us to bring you more content like this.

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *