Sassy with Cassie: Adulthood means cleaning, shopping and getting creative

Adulthood presents questions no sane person ever asks for.

How am I going to pay for this? How do I clean this? What is rotting in my fridge? What am I doing with my life? Do I really need to pass this test? If worst comes to worst, how am I going to survive on the street?

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With these challenges come simple pleasures that often go unappreciated until one lives indepently. I get super excited about buying little things, I love successful cleaning and I’ve become quite creative.

I remember being a small child and feeling confused when listening to parents talk about cleaning supplies, interest rates, grocery sales of the day or any other “grown up” topic. At the time, I could not imagine having an actual conversation about such miniscual things. But, as I’ve grown older and begun living on my own, I am beginning to understand.

Let me just say: bell peppers that are $0.89 each really get me going.

Cleaning is not a super fun activity and many college apartments are infamous for their smelliness and rotting foods. This only makes cleanliness that much more exciting.

I’ll also be the first to admit my shower gets disgusting. I don’t even notice until a large patch of mold starts growing in the corner. After that, I realize that the cleaning supplies I do own absolutely suck. I scrub my shower until my (possibly irrational) fear of inhaling too many fumes, passing out and not being found soon enough sets in.

I then leave the bathroom and resolve to live with whatever mold is left. Gross, I know. Stop judging.

In these moments, I wish my life was an infomercial and Billy Mays were there to yell at me about what product would make the mold and grime disappear with a single smooth swipe. With finding that product, I find happiness and feel like I understand adulthood a little bit better.

Buying things is also more exciting than ever.

If you have not yet invested in one, I suggest buying a Swiffer or any other easy-to-use mopping product. Seriously, sliding one of those beauties across the floor and creating a non-sticky surface brings a simple joy.

Before you know it, buying a new pack of Swiffer pads will become the most thrilling part of your day. And that, my friend, is adulthood.

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Other things I get excited about purchasing:

  • Coffee grounds
  • Pre-packaged cookies
  • Soft toilet paper
  • A new book
  • Candles (some have crackling wood wicks now!)
  • Quesadilla maker (Warning: will change your life)
  • Tea
  • A live chicken for fresh eggs

Additionally, adulthood has inspired a different realm of creativity.

I am disappointed to discover my social gatherings do not consist of fancy wines and cheeses. Decent cheese is like $6, and I am not dropping that kind of cash on a small dairy product. And nice wine is out of the question.

As a creative solution, I drink whatever’s cheap from a plastic wine glass and buy individually packaged cheese.

It’s basically the same thing if you’re comfortable lying to yourself, which I am.

Collegian A&E Writer Cassie Maack can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @maackcl.