The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Print Edition
Letter to the editor submissions
Have a strong opinion about something happening on campus or in Fort Collins? Want to respond to an article written on The Collegian? Write a Letter to the Editor by following the guidelines here.
Follow Us on Twitter
Lando Norris in Miami. Accident win or the birth of a new star?
May 17, 2024

  On May 5, 2024, an essential event for Formula 1 occurred in Miami. One of the favorites of the world public, the Briton Lando...

Pedal Pushers

Based on the RamTalk – To the person who complained about people walking in bike lanes…fair enough. But if that’s the case, I’m tackling the next biker I see riding in the walk lane. – Originally in 11/22/2013 Collegian.

The biker is a tall and burly creature with a long ponytail and a permanent leather exoskeleton. The cyclist is a twiggy beast that sports skin tight apparel and a blonde mustache. While one may have to travel to Texas or South Dakota to encounter large herds of bikers, the cyclist is quite commonplace right here in our community.


An angry species, the cyclist frequently blames others for their own mistakes and is quick to judge those who drive motor vehicles. Their natural habitats include: sidewalks, full lanes in the street, coffee shops and bike lanes.

It is in these places that the wild cyclist truly feels at home. Sophomore Mulan major, Mike Portair, has been having a difficult time co-existing with the bicyclists.

“They don’t follow rules,” Portair said. “I was driving the other day and a cyclist was taking up the entire lane! Then he proceeded to run a stop sign and loiter at a corner that was clearly marked as a no loitering zone. I can’t understand that lifestyle.”

Junior cyclist and pug-raising major, Marshal Wralley, doesn’t understand what the big deal is.

“I’m just trying to live my life,” Wralley said as he combed his blonde mustache. “I’ve been riding for as long as I could walk and loitering for as long as I could stand. I’m a man of few rules who likes to take his cycle out on the open road – nothing wrong with that.”

The number of cyclists in Fort Collins is about to surpass the number of humans and research indicates that they may take over the human race all together. We need to learn to co-exist if we want to preserve our species. Let the year of the cyclist begin here.

Collegian Entertainment Reporter Davis English can be reached at 

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

When commenting on The Collegian’s website, please be respectful of others and their viewpoints. The Collegian reviews all comments and reserves the right to reject comments from the website. Comments including any of the following will not be accepted. 1. No language attacking a protected group, including slurs or other profane language directed at a person’s race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, social class, age, physical or mental disability, ethnicity or nationality. 2. No factually inaccurate information, including misleading statements or incorrect data. 3. No abusive language or harassment of Collegian writers, editors or other commenters. 4. No threatening language that includes but is not limited to language inciting violence against an individual or group of people. 5. No links.
All The Rocky Mountain Collegian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *