Prepare for Patience


Based on the RamTalk – The PACe Center is like the DMV of math. – Originally in 11/15/2013 Collegian.


A merger of the two organizations that require more patience than any others in Fort Collins will become a reality shortly after fall break. In their quest to be the most mundanely boring places in the galaxy, the DMV and PACe Center have decided to partner up and increase their collective wait time exponentially.

They will call their dreary new business the Waste All Important Time Center, or the WAIT Center.

Market analysts have confirmed that the average wait time for the WAIT Center will be immense as the companies have combined the “16 math tests required” portion of the PACe center experience with the “watching the bald motorcycle rider scratch himself” portion of the DMV experience. Motorists and students alike are not pleased.

Senior salad bar studies major, Kris Bodon, will be attempting to finish his PACe math before the merger occurs.

“My patience is already testy when it comes to the PACe Center,” Bodon said. “I know that patience is a virtue, but why can’t ‘hurry your sweet little rump’ be a virtue?

Junior pencil sharpening enthusiast, Bayley Konstas, will be working at the new WAIT Center when it opens in a little over a week.

“I think that the new WAIT Center is going to help a lot of people,” Konstas said. “Our main goal will be to…hold on, I have a call.” Konstas went on talking with her BFF for a few hours before transferring me to another line.

The WAIT Center is coming whether we like it or not. Melding the dreadful waiting room of the DMV with the sheer confusion caused by the PACe center will undoubtedly cause chaos, but will citizens put up with it to get math credit and a license?

Good luck my fellow Rams and may patience be on your side.

Collegian Entertainment Reporter Davis English can be reached at