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We walk down the street every day staring at our feet. People rarely smile at one another — let alone wave. We are all so caught up in our own lives that we forget we don’t live in a bubble.
There was once a time when people walked the streets with joy. If you liked another person’s shirt, you told them. If you noticed someone got a haircut, you said something. If the cashier at the grocery store had really nice teeth, you told them. But now, no one says anything. Compliments have become awkward and suspicious. We act like simple kindness is crossing a boundary.
Somewhere along the line, we convinced ourselves that respecting people’s space meant avoiding human interaction. People are afraid to say nice things out loud because it may come across as weird or too forward. We can like posts and swipe up on stories, but we can’t tell a stranger they have a cute jacket on. Everyone has become emotionally closed off, but the silence isn’t polite — it’s inconsiderate.
Social media has given us an easy way out. We can double-tap and leave a “stunninggg” in the comment section, and our social duty is complete. But once we’re in person, silence. We have forgotten that compliments are meant to be heard out loud.
Think about how often you notice something nice about someone and keep it to yourself. Maybe a classmate has a cool water bottle, or your barista has an awesome hairdo. You see, you think about it and you do nothing. What’s the point of admiring something in silence? The compliment is free — share it. As humans, that is our duty.
Compliments push back against apathy. They are a way of saying “I’m paying attention,” and that is something people don’t hear enough anymore.
Compliments make you feel special and seen because they form a brief connection. While not everyone wants to be talked to, not everyone wants to live in a detached world, either. Compliments don’t invade privacy; they foster a sense of community. They remind people that someone noticed a piece of them, and that recognition can change someone’s day in a way you may never fully understand.
Some might think that compliments come across as fake or forced, but that is not a reason to stop giving them — it’s a reason to improve at giving them. Genuine compliments don’t require any extra thought or hidden insults; they simply come from your heart. You just have to mean it, and you don’t have to let it lead to unwanted small talk, either. All you have to say is: “Hey, I like your shit.”
Compliments push back against apathy. They are a way of saying “I’m paying attention,” and that is something people don’t hear enough anymore. So please compliment strangers. Tell your coworker they are doing a great job. Tell your roommate their room looks great. Tell your professor you enjoyed their class. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the more normal it becomes.
We cannot control how people respond to compliments, but we can control the amount of warmth we put into the world. We can control whether to stay silent or not. If you think a kind word will be awkward, remember that saying nothing is the easier choice, not the better one. So let’s bring back compliments. Not just for others, but to remind ourselves that being human means noticing, caring and saying it out loud.
Reach Charlotte Seymour at letters@collegian.com or on social media @RMCollegian.
