Seriously

Seriously: Hey, out-of-staters, here are 3 tips for mountain etiquette

Callum Burke, Staff Reporter • November 29, 2022

Well, folks, it's that time of year. The mountains are constantly dumping snow, the temperatures are remaining brisk and, as a result, nearly every resort is now officially open to snowboarders and skiers for the 2022-23 season. Let us rejoice in the good news!  For most Colorado natives, this is a sacred time of year full of possibilities on the slopes. Maybe it's a new trick in the terrain park or a new run at a favorite resort begging to be shredded, but nothing but positive thoughts should be streaming through hopeful minds. 

Seriously: It’s time to reclaim Thanksgiving — we should spike the potatoes

Paul Brull, Cannabis Director • November 17, 2022

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Local man discovers mental health, tolerates social interaction

Bella Eckburg, Opinion Director • November 10, 2022

The spooky fun of Halloween is behind us and so is the dizzying election season. Individuals across the nation now prepare for the thick wave of seasonal depression to hit with force.  It’s not uncommon to feel gloomy in the overcast, cold weather. In Colorado, the winter is either the thing you’ve been waiting for or the thing you’ve been dreading. If you’re into winter sports, you’re set. If you aren’t, good luck. 

Seriously: CSU announces new university president after tireless searching

Michael Stella, Staff Reporter • November 3, 2022

Starting the 2022 fall semester without a university president has been tough on the Colorado State University community. That is why CSU is proud to announce its new university president, who will be filling the position after Joyce McConnell left in June. The search was intense, and the university search committee wanted to hear from all stakeholders of CSU. The search committee knows they have made the right decision in their pick. 

Seriously: CAM mascot arrested for attempted football game tampering

Callum Burke, Collegian Columnist • October 12, 2022

There are very few occasions on Colorado State University’s campus that spark as much joy as the football team scraping a win. Thankfully, our beloved Rams got their first taste of victory in the season this past weekend against the University of Nevada, Reno's Wolf Pack, and everyone involved seemed to be happy about the result and eagerly looking on to our homecoming game to grab another — at least, almost everyone involved.  

Seriously: You can officially smoke CSU in cannabis form

Bella Eckburg, Opinion Director • October 11, 2022

Have you ever shot up out of the comfort of sleep in the middle of the night (likely after your evening high has worn off) quaking in wonder over the question “What strain would Colorado State University be if it was cannabis?”  Don’t worry, little lamb. Rest your eyes, I come in peace and with answers. 

Seriously: It’s time to harvest CAM the Ram’s wool for profit

Michael Stella, Collegian Columnist • September 28, 2022

The Colorado State University football team had another disappointing weekend inside Canvas Stadium, but as with any home game, there was a constant bright spot: CAM the Ram. Game days are work days for CAM, as he is there for Ram Walk, alumni center activities and the football game itself.  

Seriously: LSC construction will soon reveal CAM-themed shrine, bakery

Bella Eckburg, Opinion Director • September 13, 2022

If you’ve frequented the north side of the Colorado State University Lory Student Center any time in these last few weeks, you’re sure to have seen the construction happening. As I made my way to the CSU Transit center on the first day of school, I found myself puzzled when my usual staircase exit was blocked off, and I had to use the CSU Bookstore stairs. Confused, I called upon the trusty journalists employed by The Collegian to get you, the public, the answers you so desire. What is really happening behind those doors? What could they be building? 

Seriously: CSU reports 72% drop in email usage after Joyce McConnell’s departure

Dylan Tusinski, Collegian Columnist • September 5, 2022

While former Colorado State University President Joyce McConnell may have had a hands-off approach when it came to handling real issues on campus, there is one area in which she made sure to actively interact with students, staff and faculty: their email inboxes.

Seriously: Collegian to add a missed connections column

Bella Eckburg, Opinion Director • August 29, 2022

Have you ever found yourself walking along the chalked-up Plaza of the Lory Student Center and been stopped in your tracks by an absolute Ram family beauty? Here on the Colorado State University campus, we have it all: goth girls on skateboards, frat boys in khaki shorts, women in STEM, horse-lovers and more.

Seriously: CSU partners with Best Western as agents of chaos

Bella Eckburg, Opinion Director • August 23, 2022

Well, Colorado State University has done it again! Throwing curveballs is a talent possessed by both those in the athletic department and apparently CSU Housing & Dining Services!  Everybody knows CSU is the obvious choice for any first-year student looking for a fabulous college education (that’s right — I worked a University of Colorado Boulder, dig into this), and CSU capitalizes on that sexy reputation year after year. This year, our school flew a little too close to the sun, and guess who’s being pelted with the wax of those melting Icarus wings? First-years. 

Seriously: 5 things to avoid as a 1st-year in college

Cat Blouch, Collegian Columnist • August 18, 2022

Up until now, your introduction to college has likely been full of toothy smiles and icebreakers. I’m not here to ask about your major or where you’re from; I don’t care, and I can promise you most people don’t either.  Instead, I’m here to give you some tough love — to instill in you the knowledge that every first-year college student should know.