Emma Souza, Collegian Columnist
• February 12, 2024
It is almost guaranteed that at least one Colorado State University fraternity will be throwing a party each weekend. CSU’s new abstinence frat is no different. Their door is always open to make friendship bracelets and play Just Dance.
Hana Pavelko, Collegian Columnist
• January 30, 2024
Professors recommend that students never leave an important assignment until the last minute. But who listens to those ridiculous suggestions? Marvin Dent, a physics Ph.D. student at Colorado State University, is now wishing that maybe he hadn't called those suggestions ridiculous.
Emma Souza, Collegian Columnist
• November 8, 2023
If you spot flowing white locks and a trenchcoat around town, it’s not your philosophy professor — it’s just James Madison. This past election day, unsuspecting Fort Collins locals reported several packs of wig-wearing, stocking-clad individuals at various voting sites across the city. They were later identified as the Founding Fathers.
Hana Pavelko, Collegian Columnist
• November 6, 2023
It is advised that students stay away from campus for the foreseeable future. Safety has been compromised by a serious threat. And anyone who tries to come to campus could be in imminent danger. Please remain indoors until the threat has been dealt with by the local authorities.
McKenna Van Voris, Collegian Columnist
• October 26, 2023
For a lot of people, finding a popular costume that is fashionable can be a struggle. But if you want to know what the crowd has planned for this Halloween, make sure you get your hands on one of these highly sought-after costumes before they’re sold out in stores.
Emma Souza, Collegian Columnist
• October 18, 2023
Most of us know that roommate life has its perks — split rent, constant companionship, a brotherhood or sisterhood or whatever you like to call it — but along with sharing a room comes sharing commodities: a joint fridge, toilet paper that runs out twice as fast and, if you really like the person, maybe even a comb with the loving entanglement of both your hairs. Living with another person is an adjustment. But none of these lifestyle adjustments come close to sharing the demon that is the Brita filter.
Ivy Secrest, Content Managing Editor
• October 11, 2023
Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...
Hana Pavelko, Collegian Columnist
• October 11, 2023
Homecoming season has officially descended upon Colorado State University. Alumni, faculty and students alike are gearing up for a week of traditional celebrations, sporting events and school spirit. Homecoming week is the highlight of the fall semester for many in the Fort Collins area.
As the leaves begin to turn and the temperatures begin to drop this upcoming week, preventing the October sicknesses that plague campus is of utmost importance. For those who frequent the Colorado State University fraternities, however, another symptom is just on the horizon, sweeping across the solo-cup masses.
“What's in a name?” William Shakespeare famously wrote. “That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.” This is a pretty statement, but we all know nobody actually believes that. Shakespeare probably just felt crappy about having a name as boring as William.
Claire VanDeventer, Staff Reporter • September 29, 2025
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